Knife Going In
by momentary-ecstasy
Summary: Marissa gets kicked out and has nowhere to go. So she turns to the only person she could think of that may be able to help.
1. Chapter 1

I couldn't help myself. This popped into my head and I had to write it. I've been told to keep it short becasue I have a tendency to drag things on and on, I'm sure this won't be more than five chapters even if they are freakishly long chapters. Plus I still have to finish Wonderful World which had been going on for I'm guessing about a year so anyway.

I don't own them. If I did...well this would probably happen.

Special Thanks to wonderousplaceforanecho. Without her this wouldn't have an many details and things would be spelled wrong or more wrong. Anyway thank you chica.

* * *

Marissa walked in the door, miserable from another day at school and another day of life in general. She slammed the front door as per usual and started to quietly ascend the stairs.

As she got closer to the top of the stairs she heard a large commotion in the direction of her room. When she got closer, she saw the door to her room wide open and there were clothes strewn all over the place. She ran the rest of the way to her room and saw her mother rifling through her closet. There were clothes all over the ground and four bottles of vodka on the bed in various stages of fullness and three small orange vials next to them.

Marissa was suddenly sick. She'd been caught and she knew there was more to find in the closet. Her instinct was to go on the offensive and she went with it.

"What are you doing in my room?!" Marissa yelled.

Julie immediately emerged from the closet with a bottle of tequila in one hand and two more orange vials. "I'm finding out my daughter in a drunk and a junkie."

Marissa didn't have an answer to that so she remained quiet.

"When did this start, Marissa?" Julie demanded.

"Fuck off," Marissa muttered and rolled her eyes. Pretending not to care was usually her defense and it seemed to be working now.

"Excuse me?" Julie was taken aback. She tossed the drugs and tequila onto the bed, "You will not speak to me like that. I am your mother."

"You've never been a mother to me," Marissa took a step closer to her mother as if daring her to fight.

"Then I won't treat you like a daughter," Julie set her jaw and put her hands on her hips, "Get out of my house."

"What?" Marissa asked in disbelief. She felt like someone just punched her.

"Get out," Julie answered, "Rehab didn't work. Discipline didn't work. Trying to be your friend didn't work. I've exhausted my resources trying to deal with you. You have ten minutes to pack your things and leave before I send the help to escort you out. You can keep your car, but I'm canceling your credit cards tomorrow." Julie grabbed all the orange vials off the bed. "Goodbye." With that Julie Cooper walked out of her daughter's room.

Marissa would have fallen down in sobs had her body not taken over and started packing. She stuffed as much clothes and shoes she could into her many suitcases as she could and hoped they would all fit in her car.

Then she went to her closet and grabbed a few scrapbooks. It was her and Summer's secret best friend hobby since sixth grade. They still continued the tradition when they were feeling nostalgic or just needed somewhere to put a bunch of pictured. She would have smiled at the one Summer made her had circumstanced been better. She tossed her 'BBF Scrapbook featuring Summer into the only suitcase left open. What was meant to be DJ's scrapbook ended up being just a few pictures in an envelope. The next one was her Ryan book. She could barely look at it without seeing Trey's face so she angrily threw it back into the closet. The only one left was Alex.

Marissa took a second to study Alex's smiling face. A tear fell from Marissa's cheek onto one of Alex's dazzling blue eyes.

Heavy footsteps up the stairs brought her out of her revelry. She put Alex's smiling face next to Summer's and tried to close the suitcase. There was no way Marissa could close it. She blindly grabbed one of the scrapbooks and tossed it onto the bed. She was able to barely close the suitcase before the gardener was at the door.

"Missus Cooper wants me to help you with your bags," he simply stated. His broad shoulders nearly filling up the doorway.

Marissa nodded and barely got out, "Thanks."

She put the most full bottle of vodka in her oversized purse along with the stray scrapbook. The gardener already had the majority of Marissa's suitcases packed under his muscular arms. Marissa grabbed her small suitcase and her purse then followed him out to her car.

Marissa paused at the front door. "Bye _mom_!" she called, sarcasm dripping off the last word.

It was getting dark outside when they finished loading Marissa's car. The gardener the trunk of her car and nodded to her.

She force a small smile, "Thanks."

He nodded again and walked to the side of the house where he disappeared.

Marissa got into her car and immediately drove off. It wasn't until she got to the beach that she realized she didn't really have anywhere to go. Summer and her family were in Spain or Switzerland or something like that so she couldn't stay there. She definitely couldn't stand to stay at the Cohen's. She couldn't even look at a picture of Ryan, much less the real thing.

Marissa dug in her purse and pulled out her phone. She quickly scanned her contacts and pressed send. She rested her head on the steering wheel and closed her eyes, listening to the dull sound telling her that her phone was trying to connect. It finally picked up, "Hey." She brightened for a moment before she heard more speaking. "You've reached Jimmy Cooper…" Marissa angrily shut her phone and muttered sarcastically to herself, "Just like dad to be there when I need him."

Marissa looked out at the beach thought of everyone else she knew. Most of them she couldn't stand. The rest couldn't stand her. She didn't know where to go.

She turned her purse over to dump out the contents, and grabbed the bottle of vodka. She quickly unscrewed the lid and dropped it in her cup holder. After taking a long drink of the clear liquid she leaned her head back on the seat and tears started to cascade down her face.

Her tears started to die down fifteen minutes later as she stared out at the ocean. She saw the tide begin to swell and sighed deeply. She was completely exhausted from this completely emotionally arduous day.

Marissa got out of her car and trudged onto the beach with the vodka in hand. After she plopped down a few feet from the water, she stared blankly at the bottle in her hand. _This is what got me in trouble in the first place. _She figured it didn't matter anymore. She didn't have anything to loose. She used to have her mom, but now, obviously she didn't. Summer's out of the country. Her dad was nowhere to be found. She couldn't stand seeing Ryan anymore, not that they were still on good terms anyway. Without her parent, Summer and Ryan, she had nothing. She was alone and at that moment she felt it. It hit her like a brick wall. She was alone. She didn't have anyone to talk to. No one to give her a hug. The word 'alone' echoed in her mind until she thought she'd go insane if she heard it again.

The salty air swirled around her and she closed her eyes trying to loose herself in the wind. To blow away and be somewhere else. Be someone else. Being Marissa Cooper wasn't working out so well for her.

Deciding it was time to really find somewhere to stay, Marissa walked back to her car, sunk into the seat, and grabbed the lid of the bottle and screwed it back on. As she placed the bottle in the passenger's seat, her eyes caught the scrap book that had been dumped out along with the contents of her purse.

It may be a terrible idea, but Marissa didn't really have any other options. Marissa slowly opened the book and saw a picture of both of them in bed, Alex smiling and Marissa kissing her cheek.

On the opposite page was a picture of a stick man surfing, drawn on a napkin. Marissa remembered that night vividly. It was after they moved in together, they were both high and craving chili cheese fries so while they were waiting in the café Alex randomly grabbed a napkin and drew it.

Marissa let out a really long breath and hoped that Alex wouldn't be mad at her for showing up out of the blue. Assuming she could find her.

After getting as much cash as she could from her credit cards before Julie cancelled them, Marissa went to Alex's old apartment complex which consequently was Trey's old apartment complex, which brought up a whole new range of emotions Marissa wasn't ready for. She didn't want to think about what Trey did…or almost did.

Marissa shook herself out of the bad memories and remembered she was looking for Alex. Marissa saw the truck she tried to avoid while she was living at the complex and knew the landlord was there.

She got out of her car and walked the short distance to his office where the light was still on. She raised her hand and knocked lightly. His booming voice came back, "C'min."

The door knock felt like it may fall off if Marissa turned it too hard so she delicately turned it and pushed the door opened.

Immediately his eyes were on her. He sat being a metal desk so old it could be considered antique had it not been in such bad shape. There were papers all over the desk, some on from floor in front of it from behind pushed so far back there was no more desk to support it. The computer could probably be an antique too.

"Uh, I was looking for the girl who used to live in apartment A. Purple streak," Marissa pointed to her hair, "Tattoo."

The man's keen eyes studied Marissa for a moment before nodded, "You lived with her?"

Marissa nodded, "Do you have like a forwarding address or something for her? A phone number? It's really important."

The man breathed a labored breath and nodded, "Matter of fact, she left some things in the closet and I was going to send them to her." He turned in his chair and looked at a small cardboard box in the corner with an address written in black marker on the side. "Never got around to it. You going to see her?"

Marissa nodded.

He slowly hefted the box and set it on the corner of his desk causing more papers to fall. Marissa reached for a box, but the man put has large rather hairy arm on it. His 'I heart NASCAR' tattoo was peeking out from under his short sleeve.

"Why don't you know where she lives?" he asked slowly, "If you're going to see her you must be friends so why don't you know?"

Marissa thought quickly and used her refined skill of lying, "I dropped my phone and it broke. Her number was in my phone and she doesn't know my new one."

He looked her over again and nodded, "Okay." He took his arm off the box.

Marissa picked it up and walked to the door, "Thanks."

"Yeah," he called back, his attention already on his paperwork.

Marissa looked in the box and saw it was mostly odds and ends Alex wouldn't miss. _But it's a good excuse to see her. Or at least a decent excuse….no it's not. Not even a halfway decent reason._

The box of Alex's possessions took up residence in Marissa's passenger seat joining the scrapbook and bottle of vodka. Her purse slid into the floor a while ago when she had to stop at a light that she swore turned from green straight to red.

Marissa looked over at the address and didn't recognize it. She grabbed her phone from the cup holder next to her and put the address into the built in GPS. A map immediately came up. Alex's new place wasn't close, but it wasn't that far. Maybe a thirty minute drive. It would give her time to think of what to say to her.

Marissa smiled at the map. Alex finally got her place right on the beach. She talked about it all the time when they were together. "I'll never have to burn my feet on pavement ever again." were her exact words. It happened every time Alex went surfing and had to cross the street from their apartment to the beach.

The drive to Alex's house was gruelingly silent. Even with music, it seemed silent because the thoughts in Marissa's head were so loud. She reached over and grabbed the bottle of vodka. After a long drink she screwed the cap on.

She liked how it burned on the way down. The pain felt good. It was ironic that the alcohol had hurt her in more ways that one. Not only had it hurt her throat, but it seemingly destroyed the only life she'd ever known, but it was her escaped. For the few minutes or hours the alcohol was in her bloodstream she was free. No one could bring her down. She didn't have to think about what she was going to wear the next day to fit in or how to do her hair or the history report she'd put off. None of mattered. No social pressures. No family pressures. No school pressures. No relationship pressures. They didn't matter.

Before she knew it the blue dot on her phone representing her location was within a mile of Alex's house. It was hard to see the houses in the mess of palm trees and other plants, but when she neared where Alex's was supposed to be the houses started spacing out and got more colorful as she went. The cars outside were as diverse at the was the houses were built. Nothing looked the same like it did in Newport where everyone's house was huge and tan with a four car garage and a pool.

Her phone beeped to let her know to stop. She crept to a stop in front of a long driveway and saw Alex's Jeep parked outside a carport that housed a white convertible in one side and four or five surfboards in the other.

The house was light blue with white accents. The house was lifted a foot off the ground by and the space from the ground to the bottom of the house was covered by a white, wooden grate. At one end of the house there was a circular room with four wide floor to ceiling windows and surrounded by a porch. The circular room was connected to a large rectangle with two windows looking out on the side Marissa could see. One window was covered by blinds while the other was half covered in a green sheet.

It seemed like every light in the small house was on, but Marissa didn't see any movement inside. She finally put her car in park and cut the engine.

_Okay. I can do this. It's just Alex._ Marissa said in her head. She counted to three in her head and go out of her car. She thought the momentum of getting out of her car would carry her all the way to her door.

Her footsteps on the gravel driveway echoed in her ears because they were the only sound that could be heard. After an eternity of walking, she finally reached the front porch. Marissa carefully climbed the two steps to the top and walked the four steps to the front door.

Marissa stood there staring at the white, wooden door for a good five minutes in a silent showdown. Marissa was determined to win, but she couldn't bring her hand up and knock.

"Okay," Marissa whispered to herself, "One," she took a deep breath, "Two," another deep breath, "Three." As quickly as she could she lightly knocked on the door three times.

Marissa turned away from the door and took two steps away. Then she turned back around and took two steps back. Then she wrapped her arms around herself.

A sudden panic took her over and she fought the urge to run when she heard the locks clicked back.

When the door opened, it wasn't Alex. It was a woman about Alex's age with layered, shoulder length, dark brown hair. She was a few inches shorter than Alex and she was wearing a dark blue cami that showed sun tanned shoulders and arms and black yoga pants that showed toned legs, Marissa guess from surfing.

A slow smile spread across the woman's face. "You're looking for Alex?"

Marissa raised an eyebrow and nodded, "How did you know?"

"I've…heard of you," she stepped away from the door, "C'min." She turned around toward the circular room, "Alex! It's for you."

"I'm not moving," came Alex's voice, "If it's Max tell him to go away."

"It's definitely not Max," the woman shook her head.

Marissa timidly stepped in and the door was closed behind her. Marissa took a deep breath before stepping into the room and almost surely into Alex's view. The house smelled like a mixture of vanilla candles, salt water, and the unmistakable smell of Alex's perfume which was sweet and lightly fruity.

Marissa was finding it increasingly difficult to move, but the woman walked toward the room where Alex was, her bare feet barely making a noise on the hard wood floor. She disappeared into the room leaving Marissa to panic by herself.

"It's who?!" Alex's voice carried around the short wall the separated the door from the circular room.

Marissa took that as her cue to round the corner and make herself known. She immediately saw Alex sit up from her laying position on a massive horse shoe shaped, sectional couch that took up most of the room. There were many different colored blankets, throws, and pillows all over the couch that looked worn, but very inviting. In the middle of the room was a wooden coffee table with two mugs on it and on the wall opposite the couch a TV hung on the wall. Past the couch were the floor to ceiling windows that overlooked the beach. There was a hammock on the porch behind the house and twinkle lights were wrapped around part of the railing. Behind the couch was a small kitchen area that had obviously been redone recently was where the woman that opened the door was standing.

Marissa looked at her feet before looked at Alex without raising her head. Alex's eyes were set on her, thoroughly studying her. She noticed Alex was clad in a muscle shirt and red shorts with white stripes. Marissa looked back at her feet. "I…uh…I'm sorry for just…showing up."

Alex knew the second she saw Marissa that something was up. She saw the redness and slight puffiness under Marissa's eyes and knew she'd been crying. If she was just showing up to say hi she wouldn't look so nervous.

Alex was waiting for Marissa to continue.

"I…my mom…" Tears gathered in Marissa's eyes. She blinked them away because she didn't want Alex to see her. Marissa knew she was on the edge of breaking down, but she just walked in, "She kicked me out."

"You can…um…stay here," Alex said quickly and quietly. Then she took one last look at Marissa, stood up, and walked out the back door.

Marissa's eyes drifted over to the woman that let her in.

"I'll show you the guest room," she told Marissa, "You'll have to excuse Alex. She's had a long day. I'm Serena by the way."

Alex laid back in the hammock and looked out at the ocean. _How did she find me? Why did she come to me? Probably because she knows I'll do whatever she wants. No. I won't. Not anymore. I'm over her._ Alex let out a cold, ironic laugh. _Yeah right._ _But I can't get over her if she's here. But I can't kick her out….She must have come to me because I know what it's like. To be abandoned._ Alex swallowed hard and tried to focus on the waves.

Bare footsteps neared the door to the outside and Alex heard it slid open. She glanced over and saw Serena leaning in the doorway. "You okay?"

Alex sat up in the hammock, "Yeah…I guess."

"She's in the spare bedroom," Serena added, "You know if you wanted to talk to her."

"No," Alex shook her head, "That's not what I need right now. I have to go to work tomorrow."

Serena nodded, "Okay. Well I'm going to watch a movie if you'd like to join me."

"Which one?" Alex asked getting out of the hammock and following Serena inside.

"My favorite of course," Serena smiled, hopping over the back of the couch.

"Really?" Alex whined walking around the couch and falling backwards, "It's a great movie, but we watch it all the time."

"You can pick tomorrow," Serena told her and grabbed the DVD from under the coffee table. She glanced at the back cover of _La Vie En Rose_ before taking the disk out and putting it in the player.

Marissa quietly laid in the full sized bed with mismatched sheets Serena had put on while she hat gotten her purse and a bag from her car. Serena left a blanket at the end of the bed and told Marissa she was welcome to open the window because the ocean breeze was great at night. Marissa could hear the movie playing in the living room. She didn't want to leave the her room because she didn't want Alex to be uncomfortable and she remembered the last words Serena said before she left. _Give her time. _She decided that's what she was going to do. She was going to stay out of Alex's way as much as possible and talk as little as necessary.

Marissa closed her eyes in hopes of getting some sleep and fell asleep to the vocals of Edith Piaf.


	2. Chapter 2

Super special thanks to my sorta editor/sorta co-writer wonderousplaceforanecho. You're the best! Stop shaking your head and rolling your eyes.

* * *

Serena walked in the door with a leather shoulder bag draped across her. She was sorting through mail when she heard noise in the kitchen. "Hey," Serena smiled when she saw Marissa doing the dishes, "You didn't have to do that."

Marissa shrugged, "I feel kinda useless sitting around all day."

"Are you going to go back to school?" Serena asked lightly putting her back by the front door.

"Harbor is too far and I don't know where I'm going to live permanently just yet so…" Marissa trailed off.

Serena reassuringly rubbed Marissa's arm, "Well if you want to stay here and go to the high school in town you're welcome to."

Marissa looked up at her hesitantly.

Serena chuckled, "This is as much my house as it is Alex's so you can stay however long you need to."

"Thanks," Marissa smiled slightly although she did feel like she was in the way most of the time at the house.

"Oh," Serena stopped on the way back to her room, "Is it okay with you if we have a few people over?"

"Sure," Marissa nodded.

"Great," Serena smiled and walked back into her room.

About an hour later, Serena and Marissa were watching TV and sitting on opposite ends of the couch. Well neither one was really watching it. Marissa was staring at the coffee table and Serena was watching Marissa.

"You okay?" Serena finally asked.

Marissa's eyes shot up like she just got caught with her hand in the proverbial cookie jar. She held Serena's eyes for a moment before nodded, "Yeah."

"Don't worry," Serena assured Marissa, "She'll come around. When we were in kindergarten I broke her favorite green crayon. She iced me out for a week. It's what she does."

Marissa smiled at the image of a little Alex with purple streak in her hair made by a washable marker and a temporary tattoo with her arms crossed. Then she looked back at Serena, "You've known her that long?"

Serena nodded, "Yeah. Then when she dropped out I helped her move to Newport. I was actually at that party she had at her apartment that you couldn't stay at."

"Oh," Marissa laid her head back on a green and purple striped pillow, "I don't really remember anyone there. Sorry."

"It's okay," Serena picked up the remote and turned the TV off and turned some music on. "They're here."

"How did you know that?" Marissa asked, but knew the answer when she heard a car door slam.

Alex was the first one through the door with an armful of beer. A group of people followed her in, all carrying food or some sort of alcohol.

"Hey," Serena got up and greeted everyone.

"So you're Marissa," a guy smiled at her.

She looked up at him and her heart immediately started hammering. A chill ran down her body and a cold sweat broke out on the back of her neck. She swallowed hard. For a split second the guy standing next to her looked like Trey. He had the exact same build and his facial hair was trimmed the same way Trey's was. The guy in front of her had dark blue eyes instead of the deadly brown Marissa remembered in her nightmares.

"I'm Kevin," he extended his hand to her.

Marissa looked like a deer in the headlights. She couldn't move at all. She saw a flash of Trey's face on Kevin's and her breathing became shallow.

Serena noticed this and looked over at Alex who was already walking towards Kevin and Marissa. His hand was still extended to Marissa and Alex put her hand in his, "C'mon Kev. Let's go check out the surf." She pulled him out the back door toward the beach.

Marissa let out a long sigh and closed her eyes, trying to get the images of Trey out of her head.

"You look like you need this more than I do," a woman sat on the couch and set a beer down on the coffee table.

Marissa picked up the beer and smiled in a thank you.

"I'm Rene," the girl flipped her long black hair out of her face.

"Marissa."

"Oh," Rene smirked.

"Why does everyone say that?" Marissa asked although she already knew the answer.

Rene shrugged and looked up when Serena, two other girls and two guys came to sit on the massive couch. Serena saw Marissa watching the guys carefully and quickly sat next to Marissa before one of the guys did.

As the evening went on Marissa kept avoiding the guys, which didn't go unnoticed by Serena who tried to help Marissa whenever she could. Soon most of the people were gone. Kevin was the only one left and he was sitting on the beach talking to Alex so Marissa was staying inside.

She started cleaning up the empty cups and the food that was scattered from the kitchen to the coffee table.

"I can get that," Serena took a stack of empty cups from Marissa's hand, "You look tired. Maybe you should go to bed."

Marissa glanced out the window and saw Kevin walking back to the house with Alex. "You know I think I will," Marissa stated and scurried off to her room.

Once in her room Marissa closed and locked the door. She sat on the bed trying to control her breathing. Every time she saw Kevin she saw Trey, which probably wasn't fair to Kevin because he seemed like a nice guy. But Marissa couldn't handle looking at him.

Marissa walked with purpose over to her purse and pulled out her last orange vial. She also pulled out a twenty-dollar bill, a compact mirror, and a cancelled credit card. She was careful to only pour a little of the white powder onto the mirror because it was her last vial and she had no idea when or if she'd ever see her dealer again. She poured just enough to take the edge off. After carefully forming it into a little line she rolled up the twenty and snorted the whole line in one go.

It always burned on the way up but a few seconds later she was fine. She put the mirror, money, vial, and card back in her purse and then laid on the bed.

Marissa decided to go to the bathroom to brush her teeth before the cocaine really kicked in, in case she fell asleep later. She quietly unlocked the door and nearly ran into Serena who was walking from her room to the living room.

"Oh sorry," Serena apologized, "I'm going to take Kevin home because he drank too much. Do you need anything before I leave?"

Marissa shook head not trusting her voice.

"Get some sleep," Serena patted Marissa's back as she walked off.

Marissa stared at her hollow eyes as she brushed her teeth. The drug was starting to kick in, but it wouldn't get her high this time. It would just slightly elevate her mood and energy. She wished she had more. If she did that small line she did probably would have been two long ones. At that moment, she didn't feel alive. She felt like a lifeless zombie going through the motions. She couldn't even be around guys without panicking. What was she going to do when she needed to get a job or go back to school? Marissa sight and rinsed her mouth. She left the water running and splashed her face a few times.

Marissa finally went back to her room, not really closing the door all the way because the only person left in the house was Alex.

Hours later, Marissa lay in her bed staring at the sliver of light that come through the crack in the door. It lit up part of one of her suitcases before traveling the rest of the way up the wall. The cocaine had worn off in a shorter time that usual and she couldn't sleep. She let out a heavy sigh and wondered when Alex would talk to her. She's been trying, really trying hard to stay out of Alex's way. Now all she wanted was Alex to say something to her. Anything. Hi. Good morning. Hey can you hand me that blanket? Anything.

Just as Marissa was about to resign herself to sleep, she saw the sliver of light in the door get wider. She rolled onto her back and saw Alex standing at the door. Marissa watched her and waited for her to say something, but instead of talking, Alex slowly walked over to her bed.

Marissa's heart started pounding, "What's wrong?" Alex's expression was unreadable as she sat on the edge of the bed. Marissa sat up fully expecting Alex to finally speak to her.

Instead, she felt Alex's fingers slowly and gently put some hair behind Marissa's ear then kept moving along her jawbone before tracing up her cheek. Alex finally rested her palm on Marissa's cheek and pulled her in for a kiss.

Marissa could feel the kiss quickly get heated and reached out to put her hand on Alex's waist, but Alex's hand intercepted it. Marissa felt Alex slowly put her onto her back and swiftly move on top of her still holding Marissa's hand away from her body. Then Alex kissed Marissa harder and took both of Marissa's hands before moving them above the brunette's head.

It came out as more of the growl than anything when Alex's finally spoke. "Keep them there." Her voice was a monotone so Marissa wasn't sure what to think. She stopped kissing Marissa and looked into her eyes from confirmation of compliance.

Marissa just nodded.

Alex moved her hands from Marissa's hands to the risen hem of Marissa's shirt. Alex slowly started pushing the shirt up as she moved her lips to Marissa's ear and bit her earlobe before adding in a low, but almost comforting voice, "Tell me if you want me to stop."

All Marissa could manage was another nod.

Alex moved down Marissa's body, her lips finding their place on Marissa's neck and Alex's hands stopped their progression upward before starting back down. Marissa's entire middle was exposed and her skin tingled where Alex's hands wash over it.

Marissa bit her lip and gripped the pillow under her head. It was getting harder and harder not to touch Alex. When Alex ran her teeth across Marissa's stomach her knuckles turned white while holding the pillow.

"Fuck Alex," Marissa breathed.

Alex continued to mercilessly tease Marissa resulting in the girl under her to end up naked and squirming. Just as Marissa was opened her mouth to plead to Alex to finish her off, Alex pressed their lips together and slid her hand between Marissa's legs.

A half an hour later, Marissa was laying on the bed panting and Alex was crawling off the bed. Marissa didn't really know what to say. She watched as Alex stood up and walked out without another word. Then she heard the shower turn on and the bathroom door close.

Marissa laid on the bed trying to sort out what just happened, but sleep was threatening to overcome her. Sex with Alex had always been tiring, but not being able to touch her made her ten times more exhausted.

Alex closed her eyes and let the water engulf her face. She wasn't really sure what had happened. She knew she wanted Marissa since the moment she saw her at the Bait Shop and now she knew she wanted Marissa again and something inside her would always want Marissa. When Marissa arrived Alex decided to fight her attraction to Marissa with everything she had and tonight she gave into her attraction just a little, but she knew if Marissa touched her then she wouldn't be able to fight it anymore. Just the memory of Marissa's hands on her skin was enough to make Alex want to go into the bedroom again and spend hours doing anything Marissa wanted her to. The more she thought about it, the more out of control Alex felt.

Marissa pulled the blanket around herself and kept fighting sleep. She just realized the gravity of what happened and she suddenly felt used. Like she was Alex's plaything to pick up when she wanted to drop when she felt bored. But as much as she felt used she knew she wanted Alex to do it again. And again. Marissa was angry with herself for feeling so conflicted. Had it been anyone else she would have stopped them the second their lips touched hers, but Alex had this weird control over her and she felt played.

Usually Marissa avoided sleep because her dreams would often wake her up, but when she was exhausted like she was right then she usually slept so deep she didn't remember her dreams when she woke up. So she gave into sleep in hopes it would be a more powerful escape than the drug in her purse.

Alex didn't go to bed after her shower. She put on some shorts and a muscle shirt and went to the back porch where she fell into the hammock. She watched the dark waves crash onto the shore and closed her eyes, breathing in the salty air and trying to clear her head. She didn't know how she was going to deal with Marissa the rest of the time she was there. It was either give in or get away and Alex wasn't ready to give in. She laid her head back on the hammock and wrapped her arms around herself wondering what she should do or say to Marissa.


	3. Chapter 3

Again wonderousplaceforanecho is super helpful with editing and everything. I bow to your genius chica.

* * *

Alex was the first one up and four hours of sleep hadn't helped her mood. So she quickly and quietly went into her room to change into her swimsuit before grabbing one of her surf boards. The waves were small today, but had they been bigger Alex wouldn't have been able to concentrate hard enough to keep her balance.

When Marissa woke up, she was reluctant to get out of bed. She didn't want to face Alex. Marissa decided that she wasn't mad at Alex for not letting her touch her anymore. She was mad because Alex didn't say anything. The two short sentences that Alex uttered weren't enough to appease Marissa. So she decided to avoid Alex until the blonde was ready to talk.

Finally, Marissa was able to drag herself out of bed. Serena was in the kitchen cooking something that smelled fantastic to the taller brunette.

"Good morning," Serena smiled.

"Are you always this happy?" Marissa teased her newfound friend.

Serena shrugged, "Pretty much."

"It's not natural," Marissa opened the refrigerator and as she bent down to get the orange juice she covertly scanned the room. Movement outside caught her eyes and she saw Alex sitting on her surfboard in the middle of the ocean looking out at the horizon. Even from far away Marissa could tell that Alex was thinking fairly hard. She wondered what about for a moment before Serena crossed her gaze to get to the sink.

"I made breakfast tacos," Serena offered, "Want one?"

"Sounds great," Marissa set the orange juice on the counter, "Want some orange juice?"

"Sounds great," Serena echoed. She got out some tortillas and put the eggs and sausage she'd been cooking into them before wrapping them up. She handed Marissa a plate with two breakfast tacos on it. Then Marissa handed Serena a glass of orange juice.

Just as Marissa was about to sit on the couch, the back door slid open and Alex stepped in. Marissa looked her over and she looked exhausted. Her eyes were downcast and her shoulders were slumped. She didn't look like she usually did after a morning of surfing where she'd walk in smiling and then raid the refrigerator.

"Hungry?" Serena asked.

Alex shook her head and fell back onto the couch, not looking at Marissa. Marissa didn't want to be in that close proximity of Alex so she stood and walked to the back porch. She sat on the steps and enjoyed the warm ocean air while she ate her breakfast.

Serena put down her breakfast and walked over to Alex who was staring off into space. "What did you do?"

"Who says I did anything?" Alex asked, suddenly defensive which made Serena even more suspicious.

Serena sat on the coffee table and stared at Alex. "Alex, what did you do?" she asked her voice even and unusually intimidating.

"I had sex with her last night," Alex muttered knowing that Serena would find out sooner or later.

The shorter woman studied Alex for a moment before adding, "And? She's not going to avoid you for nothing."

Alex ran a hand through her wet hair, "I walked in, had sex, and left."

Serena could tell there was more and that Alex would need more prodding. Serena took a deep breath and narrowed her eyes, not to look angry but to make Alex feel as though she were being examined, "What else?"

"Jesus!" Alex stood up and walked to the back of the couch, "I wouldn't let her touch me. That's it."

Serena hung her head. She stood too and walked around to where Alex was, "God Alex! Do you have any idea what kind of shit that poor girl has been through?!"

"No! I don't!" Alex yelled back, but Serena wouldn't back down. Alex crossed her arms and sunk back into herself, her voice lowering considerably, "She won't talk to me."

"Have you tried talking to her?" Serena asked calmly.

The blonde shook her head, "No." She bit her lip and could see Marissa sitting by herself outside. Then she looked at Serena, "Did she tell you?"

After glancing backward at Marissa who was oblivious to their conversation, while she fed sea gulls the remainder of her tortilla, Serena looked back at Alex, "I think she was…" She hesitated telling Alex because she knew the blonde would be furious. "I think she was sexually assaulted." When Alex's eyes got wide, Serena continued, "She was really anxious around the guys last night and she froze when Kevin tried to touch her. At some points she looked detached and others it looked like she was having flashbacks. Classic rape trauma syndrome."

Alex felt her knees go weak and then her blood boil. "Are you sure?"

Serena nodded, "I've seen that look in her eyes. I know for sure."

Alex took a long, slow breath to try to calm herself. "Maybe you should talk to her."

"She doesn't need a shrink-in-training right now," Serena touched Alex's arm, "She needs you."

She felt herself get lightheaded. She just realized what she'd done. Her jaw immediately clenched, "I can't."

"You can and you know you will," Serena gently pushed Alex towards the door, "Go."

Alex let the momentum carry her to the door. She paused before opening it and stepping outside. Marissa turned around and the second she saw Alex, she stood up to go back inside.

"Riss, wait," Alex said quietly. Her voice was quivering from extreme anger and sadness.

Marissa immediately looked at Alex who she was particularly surprised that Alex used the nickname she had when they were together.

Alex could barely look at Marissa without feeling like she would cry, so she sat on the step Marissa previously occupied and patted the open part of the stair next to her.

After studying Alex for a minute, Marissa stayed standing, "I'm going to take these dishes inside and I'll be right out, okay?"

A weak, "Okay," was the only response from Alex.

Marissa walked inside, trying to figure out what was up. She saw Serena thoughtfully doing the dishes and when Serena saw her, the shorter brunette took the dishes from Marissa with a forced smile. Marissa frowned and wondered what was going on with her two housemates.

When she got back outside, Marissa closed the door and sat next to Alex. She scanned the horizon before looking at Alex who had tears running down her cheeks.

"What's wrong?" Marissa immediately asked.

Alex quickly wiped away the tears, "Nothing."

Marissa paused, wanting to hug Alex, but still trying to stay mad at Alex for what she did. Her resolve was diminishing by the second. Alex hated to cry in front of people, even Marissa. Especially Marissa. So this must have been a really painful reason.

After building up her bravado again, Alex looked over at Marissa and finally asked, "Did someone hurt you?"

She felt like the wind had gotten knocked out of her. Marissa now realized why Alex and Serena were acting so strange. They'd figured out what happened…or someone told them. "Who told you?"

The surfer shook her head, "No one." After a short pause Alex added, "Serena works at a counseling center and is working to get her Ph.D. in psychology. She knew. I'm…I'm sorry I didn't see it."

Marissa dropped her head, "I should have told you." She suddenly felt like she could support her own weight even though she was sitting so Marissa rested her head on Alex's shoulder.

"Who was it?" Alex asked, carefully as she put her arm around Marissa's waist.

If she closed her eyes, she could see his face vividly, "Trey. Ryan's brother."

Marissa felt Alex's whole body tense, "Did he…uh…"

Trying to hold back tears, Marissa shook her head and leaned more into Alex, "He almost did. I…I have nightmares all the time that he actually does."

"Is he still in Newport?" Alex's voice was getting eerily hard and quiet.

Marissa nodded, "I helped him get into your old apartment." Marissa bit her lip and added, "Our old apartment."

There was a long silence before Alex finally said, "I'm so sorry for what I did last night…If I would have know…I shouldn't have done it anyway."

Marissa pulled away from Alex to look into her crystal blue eyes, "Last night was the first time someone has touched me and I didn't see Trey. If anyone tried to hold me like you are now, I'd…have a panic attack."

Tears welled up in Alex's eyes again. She blinked them away when she saw tears fall out of Marissa's eyes. She slowly reached up to Marissa's face, waiting for Marissa to flinch away. When she didn't Alex gently wiped the tears away.

Marissa slowly stood up and took Alex's hand, urging her up. Marissa sniffled and held tightly onto Alex's hand. "No one has been able to hug me since it happened."

Alex knew what Marissa wanted her to do, but she didn't want to send Marissa into a panic attack or a flashback.

"Please?" Marissa asked, pleading in an almost child-like voice.

Dropping Marissa's hand, Alex slowly wrapped her arms around Marissa. Alex let out the breath she was holding when Marissa relaxed into her arms and slid her own arms around Alex's waist.

"Thank you," Marissa breathed.

A few minutes later, Marissa pulled away and Alex immediately let go not wanting Marissa to feel trapped. Marissa trailed her finger along Alex's side and watched the blonde squirm away.

"I forgot how ticklish you are," Marissa smirked.

Alex chuckled, "No fair."

Movement down the beach caught Marissa's eyes and she froze. There was a man wearing a green sweater walking toward them.

This reaction was caught by Alex and she turned around. Her first thought was Trey was on her beach, but when Alex took a longer look, it was a man who lived a few houses down. His name was Randy or Ricky or something like that. Alex turned back to Marissa, "C'mon, baby. Let's go inside."

Marissa looked at the ground and nodded, walking inside and letting Alex follow her.

Serena was sitting on the couch and Marissa sat in the place on the couch she staked out a long time ago. They both looked at Alex who was still standing. Alex was staring angrily at the ground. She felt eyes on her and added, "I'm gonna go put clothes on."

The answer seemed to satisfy the two brunette women because Serena flipped on the TV to some medical drama rerun.

When Alex emerged from the bedroom she was in a white muscle shirt, comfortable looking jeans and a her black Converse. Her hair was up and her jaw was set.

"Going somewhere?" Serena asked. At this Marissa looked over at Alex.

Alex grabbed her keys as she walked with purpose to the door, "I'll be back later." Her voice sounded like she was struggling to keep it under control.

"Alex!" Serena stood up and trotted to the door after Alex, but it was too late. Alex had thrown her Jeep in reverse and sped off.

Marissa appeared at Serena's side and watched the Jeep disappear around a corner. "What's she doing?"

The shorter woman was afraid to know what her best friend was going to do, but she knew that this point there was no stopping her. Serena closed the front door and added as she walked back to the couch, "If she's not back tomorrow, we'll go find her."


	4. Chapter 4

"If you don't leave Newport I'm going to come back like clockwork and remind you why you should," Alex warned before walking out of the trashed apartment and slamming the door.

She got in her Jeep that was parked behind some trees and watched the front door of the apartment. Twenty minutes later, Trey walked out of the front door in clean clothes with a duffle bag draped over his shoulder. He got in a car and drove to the Cohen's house while Alex followed him, not caring if he saw her or not. Trey made a quick stop at the pool house before going back to the car. When he opened the door, he saw Alex's Jeep parked across the street with her staring at him from the driver's seat.

He shot her a dirty look, but it didn't faze her. She's already made her point. She was just making sure he was doing what she told him to.

After dropping the car off at a friend's house, Trey walked to the bus stop while Alex crept behind him in her Jeep.

"You gonna give me a ride?" He asked wiping his nose that started bleeding again.

"Fuck no," Alex raised an eyebrow. "I have no idea what kind of diseases you have from all those drugs in your apartment."

"You better check your girlfriend then," He muttered.

"What?!" she asked.

He just shrugged as they got to the bus stop. Alex watched him buy the ticket to Las Vegas and sat in her Jeep making sure the bus he was on took off and he hadn't gotten off.

Both Marissa and Serena decided to not go to bed and sleep on the couch just in case Alex got home that night. Neither was completely bewildered as to where Alex went, but neither one completely sure. Marissa looked at the clock on the stove and saw it was almost ten. Alex had been gone for more than five hours. Again she glanced at the clock as she did every ten minutes since Alex left. Then she looked at Serena who looked worried which made Marissa worry more because Serena had known Alex most of their lives and if she was worrying there was probably a good reason.

Four hours later, Marissa fell asleep staring out the window. Serena watched Marissa sleep for a while before she noticed that Marissa was shivering. She picked up one of the many blankets on the couch and covered Marissa up. Then she got up and put another pot of coffee on, determined to be awake when Alex got home. However half an hour later, Serena fell asleep sitting on a stood at the kitchen counter.

Marissa was the first one awakened by the locks clicking back on the doors, but Serena was only a second behind her. They both stood as the door slowly opened, watching as Alex stood there looking exhausted, a black zip up sweater hanging off of her sagging shoulders.

"Thank god," Serena said and carefully hugged Alex briefly. "I'm going to bed. We'll talk tomorrow." As she walked off Serena added, "Take something before you go to bed."

Alex just nodded.

When she hear the bedroom door close Marissa asked timidly. "Where did you go?"

"Newport," Alex simply answered. "I need to lay down. Come with me?"

Marissa nodded and followed Alex into her room. It was similarly decorated as the guest room, but there were more pictures on the walls and more clothes scattered everywhere. The brunette closed the door and turned to Alex who was taking off her sweater.

"Oh my god," Marissa breathed, seeing many short scratches down one side of her right arm.

Alex gathered the hem of her muscle shirt in her hand and started to pull it up, but winced from the pain. Marissa quickly took over and pulled the garment over Alex's head.

More gasps came from Marissa when she saw a huge bruise peeking over the top of Alex's jeans, right over her hip. Marissa didn't hesitate to unbutton and unzip Alex's pants before pulling them down, allowing Alex to step out of them while kicking off her shoes. The bruise was massive over Alex's hip and was already a deep purple.

Alex turned around to turn down the bed and Marissa bit her lip when she saw another bruise on Alex's back right above her kidneys.

"Alex," Marissa softly said, tears welling up in her eyes.

Alex turned around and saw Marissa about to cry. She slowly and lovingly wrapping her arms around Marissa. She kissed the side of Marissa's head, "It's okay."

Marissa dipped her head to softly kiss Alex's shoulder before pulling away and looking at Alex. She hesitantly asked, "Where is he?"

"He should be far away from Newport by now," Alex told Marissa and stroked her hair, reassuring her as best she could.

Alex faltered for a moment before regaining her balance quickly.

"Lay down," Marissa told Alex who readily complied. Marissa knelt next to the bed and was eyelevel to Alex. "Where's the Tylenol?"

"In the cabinet in the kitchen over the sink," Alex answered.

"Okay," Marissa kissed Alex's forehead before going to get Alex some Tylenol and water. When she returned and Alex had taken the medicine, Marissa turned off the light and got in bed with Alex. The light of the full moon was still shining through the window and lit up the bottom half of the bed. Marissa could see bruises and cuts peppering Alex's body.

"You didn't have to do that," Marissa whispered, lightly trailing her fingers up and down Alex's skin. Over her back and down her legs as far as she could reach without shifting her body and back up her spine to her neck and then her fingers got lost in the golden locks.

"What he did wasn't okay in any way, shape, or form," Alex explained her voice laced with exhaustion, "You deserve so much better Riss."

Marissa sighed and stroked Alex's cheek. She didn't really have any words that could describe what Alex had just done for her. She'd helped chase at least some of the demons in Marissa's head away and Marissa finally felt safe with someone.

"You're amazing," Marissa whispered and kissed Alex's cheek.

Alex smiled at Marissa's kiss and lulled her head to the side. She moved her face toward Marissa's and turned on her side, slipping a hand onto Marissa's hip. "Far from it, but you get an 'E' for effort."

Marissa finally smiled, "Fine." She softly kissed Alex and after she added, "Go to sleep."

The blonde just nodded and closed her eyes, easily slipping into a deep sleep.

Marissa watched Alex sleep for almost a half an hour before snuggling into her and going to sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

Author's note: I promise the next chapter will be longer. I felt like this one needed to end where it does for impact. Thanks for reading. Hope you enjoy

* * *

When Marissa woke up she could hear talking in the living room. She rolled over and realized that Alex wasn't laying next to her anymore. She slowly got out of bed and opened the door listening to the conversation going on as she walked towards it.

"What did he say?" Serena asked.

Alex shrugged as she cut some fruit on the counter in the kitchen. She was clad in a green cami and black shorts. "He told me to get out of his apartment."

"Is this before or after you punched him?" Serena asked.

"After," Alex answered taking a bite of the apple.

As Marissa neared, Alex smiled, "Hey sleepy head."

"You okay now?" Marissa asked sweetly, running a finger down Alex's lightly bruised arm.

Alex nodded, "Yeah. Still a little sore, but much better."

Marissa picked up Alex's free hand and kissed the cuts and bruises on her knuckles, "Feel free to continue your discussion."

Serena joined the other two in the kitchen, "So he opened the door and you punched him?"

"I was really mad at that point because I'd been thinking of what…he did," Alex swallowed hard after the last part.

"You're lucky you didn't kill him," Serena added.

"If Newport was any farther away I may have," Alex answered. She picked up another slice of apple and offered it to Marissa. Marissa took it with a thankful smile and took a bite.

"I have to run to the office for a while," Serena smiled, "Will you two be okay alone?"

"Gee I don't know," Alex gave Serena a mischievous grin.

"Okay, I don't need to know," Serena picked up her bag and walked out the door with a quick goodbye.

Alex turned to Marissa, "I took the day off so what do you want to do?"

Marissa shrugged, "I don't care."

"I am going to go grab a record and then we can go surfing," Alex grinned eagerly.

Marissa chuckled because Alex was rarely eager. She followed Alex down the short hallway and into the guest room, or as it currently being referred to, Marissa's room.

While Alex sorted through the records on the dresser, Marissa sat on her bed and watched. "Oh," Marissa added, "Get 'Better Live Than Dead' please."

Alex smiled, "You and The Sex Pistols." Alex pulled the album, but as she turned to hand it to Marissa, Alex knocked Marissa's purse off the dresser with her elbow.

"Sorry," Alex winced and put the album back to pick up the contents of Marissa's purse, but Marissa sank to her knees and quickly tried to scoop everything back in her bag before Alex could get to it.

Once she was sure she got everything off the floor, Marissa put her purse on the bed, but she noticed that Alex had not moved from her crouching position.

Marissa watched curiously as Alex slowly stood up and turned to face her. Alex was staring at something in her hand. Marissa gulped and was sure she knew what Alex was looking at. It was subsequently what she was trying to keep Alex from seeing.

Finally Alex looked at Marissa and held the orange vial between two fingers. Alex closed her eyes and swallowed hard, "Please tell me this isn't what I think this is." Alex kept her eyes closed because she wanted to catch every word Marissa would say so nothing could be misinterpreted.

"It's not…" Marissa started, but knew lying to Alex at this point was trivial. "It's…yeah."

Alex slowly opened her eyes and saw Marissa sitting on the edge of the bed looking up at her, waiting for a reaction. The heartbroken look on Alex's face was eating Marissa up inside more than if Alex started yelling.

"How did it get this far?" The blonde asked in a disturbingly quiet voice. Alex enclosed the vial in her hand and gripped it so tight Marissa was sure it would burst any moment. "Did you go straight from alcohol to coke?" The last statement came out more accusatory that Alex had intended it, but she wasn't about to take it back.

"I…needed an escape," Marissa looked at the ground and explained. She picked at the blanket under her trying to avoid looking at any part of Alex.

"Is there any more?" Alex clenched her jaw.

Marissa shook her head, "That's it."

"Don't lie to me, Marissa," Alex warned.

This made Marissa looked up. Alex never called her Marissa. It had always been Riss or baby or babe. Never her whole name. Something about the way Alex said the last sentence was condescending and Marissa started to resent her for it. She looked back at the ground and shook her head, "I'm not. That's it." Marissa's words came out hostile and abrupt.

Alex crossed her arms and dropped her head, "How long?"

Marissa still felt that Alex was being condescending. The way she was talking made it seem that Alex was trying to parent Marissa and she definitely wasn't in a mood to be parented by anyone.

"None of your business," Marissa growled, standing up.

The blonde's eyes got wide, "I have a right to know if my girlf-" Alex caught herself in the middle of the word neither one had discussed yet. She quickly covered it up, "I have a right to know if there's drugs in my own house."

"Don't be so high and mighty," Marissa rolled her eyes, "It's not like you hide the bong in your room."

"This is different," Alex muttered, holding up the vial to exhibit to the taller girl, "It's cocaine Marissa. This will completely fuck you up."

Marissa snatched the vial away, "It's not like you don't think I'm fucked up already."

"Marissa," Alex started, but Marissa cut her off.

"It's my life," Marissa barked.

Alex froze in place for a little over two minutes before finally speaking in a cool, even tone, "Well if that's," she pointed to the vial in Marissa's hand, "Going to be part of your life, then don't expect me to be part of it." With that Alex walked out the door, leaving Marissa alone.

Marissa angrily slammed the door and sunk onto the floor, staring at the door until tears clouded her vision so much it was just a white space in front of her.


	6. Chapter 6

Alex walked down the street with her hands in her pocket and permanent scowl affixed to her face. _I wish Trey was here. I'd beat the shit out of him all over again._ Alex felt her shoulders tense so much that they'd become one big knot. She kicked at rocks on the ground and cursed under her breath. _Why Riss?_

Marissa had long ago finished off the contents of the vial. If Alex didn't give a shit, why should she? She didn't have anything left. The feeling of euphoria was beginning to take over and Marissa grabbed her iPod out of her purse before walking out of her room. She scanned the house although she already knew Alex was gone. Aside from hearing the front door open and close, Marissa knew that when they ever had a fight, Alex would leave to cool off and come back when she was ready to talk. Marissa walked out the back door, down the stairs, and to the edge of the water. She sat down and put the headphones on.

As the lyrics played into her ears, Marissa looked out at the waves and could remember watching Alex surf for the first time and being mesmerized by the grace and fluid movement Alex made while mastering the waves. She missed those days. Before everything seemed to go to shit.

_No one would ever see things the way I do  
No one will try  
All my friends think that I'm gone  
But I swear...  
I swear I'm not_

Alex really wanted to hit someone or something. She clenched her first and her nails dug into her palms, drawing blood. She glanced down at her bruised and cut knuckles and sighed. She felt all her anger build throughout her body. She needed a release and she needed it now.

_This make me feel that I'll never be quite normal  
This makes me act like I'll never get out alive (alive)  
I'll get to acting, make you all believe me  
I'll get to faking, show you all how to grieve_

Marissa could see people down the beach laughing and playing, running around, playing with a soccer ball and playing fetch with a dog. She wondered if her life had ever been that normal. Even if it ever seemed that normal. Marissa felt as though from the time she turned six everything went down hill. Her parents divorce. Her dad leaving. Ryan leaving and coming back as he pleased. Her mom coming and going when she wanted to. Summer was the only real constant in her life, but even with Summer there was a connection there that couldn't be made. Marissa wanted someone the understood her on a deeper level. She was starting believe it was never going to happen.

Because people seemed to come and go as they saw fit, Marissa learned at an early age not to get attached to anyone. She thought that she could get past that with Ryan, but she always seemed to keep him at an arm's length. Everyone else she dated was just someone to occupy her time. Until Alex.

_In and out is where it gets back to the place  
It does make me feel like I just want to feel just like its touch_

Alex never got this angry with anyone else. To be truthful she never really cared about anyone enough to be that angry with them. Alex had two people three people that she cared enough to get angry with. Serena who had been there since kindergarten. Jodie who was there when her parents kicked her out and helped her through that. And Marissa, who had some strange control over Alex and made her fall completely head over heels for the Newport-born beauty.

She'd finally hit the end of the street and had to turn around. She didn't want to go back to the house so she pulled out her phone and dialed. She listened to it ring twice.

"What?" the familiar voice answered, sleepily.

"Come pick me up," Alex told the woman on the other end of the line.

"A please would be nice," the voice seemed to be more awake.

Alex kicked a rock that jumped three times before hitting a curb, "Jodie, please."

"That's more like it," Jodie answered, "Where are you?"

"A couple blocks from my house," Alex looked around. She saw some kids playing in the front yard of a nice two story house that looked three times as big as hers and Serena's house. She momentarily missed the days where her whole world was playing with her friends in her parent's yard.

"Five minutes," Jodie told her before hanging up.

Alex expected that from Jodie by now, so Alex sat down on the curb and waited all the while trying to sort out the million thoughts in her head.

Marissa tossed her iPod as far up the beach as she could making it almost hit the porch of the house then laid down in the sand as the tide started to rise. The coke was wearing off sooner and sooner than before, leaving her in a state of depression. She felt the waves lap at her feet before slowly progressing up her body until it completely covered her with every surge. She squeezed her eyes shut as the waves got higher and soon they would engulf her entire body even when the waves receded and she'd be submerged the whole time.

Her eyes shot open at someone shouting her name. "Marissa!" Unfortunately she opened her eyes just as a wave crashed over her and she got two eyes full of salt water. She shot up into a sitting position and wiped her eyes. She turned to the sound of the voice and saw Serena walking towards her.

"Are you okay?" Serena asked warily.

Marissa just shrugged.

"A few more minutes and the undertow would have pulled you out to sea," Serena added, watching Marissa's reaction.

There was no reaction. Marissa just started walking up to the house. Truth be told, Marissa already knew that. She was just disappointed that Serena got there first.

Jodie's car came roaring around the corner. The top was down and music was blaring. The black Corvette pulled to a stop right in front of her. Alex stood up and got in, noticing Jodie's hair was sloppily pulled back and the dark sunglasses on her face. Jodie had just woken up and probably had a hang over.

The ride back to Jodie's apartment was quiet sans the music all around. Even when they got there, Jodie turned off the car and got out without saying anything. She and Alex had an understanding that they never really had to speak to communicate. Alex was thankful for that for that right then.

Once inside, Jodie fell back on the couch and Alex sat next to her.

Jodie finally took off the glasses and looked at Alex, "What's up?"

Alex opened her mouth, but nothing came out. She swallowed some tears and clenched her jaw. Jodie knew what this meant. She just took Alex into her arms and held her there before Alex laid her head in Jodie's lap.

Jodie just stroked her hair and waited for Alex to speak. When she finally did it was slow and thought out, "Marissa…she's staying with me and Serena. Her mom kicked her out."

"Oh," Jodie nodded.

Alex reached up to wipe her eyes in an effort to keep the tears in.

"Whoa," Jodie reached down and took Alex's hand, examining the cuts and bruises. "Marissa do that?"

"What?" Alex looked at her hands and then shook her head, "No. This guy…tried to," the word caught in Alex's throat because the thought of anyone doing something like that sickened her but the thought of someone doing it to Marissa sent all of her organs into a riot. She finally got it out, "He tried to rape her."

"Ah," Jodie ran her hand all the way down Alex's back and back up. Jodie put Alex's hand down and ran her fingers through her Alex's hair again. "Is that it?"

"She's doing coke," Alex breathed as if speaking it softly would make it less true.

"No shit?" Jodie asked, "Wow."

A few hours later, Alex was laying on the couch with a half empty bottle of tequila in her hand. It was full when Jodie gave it to her forty-five minutes ago. Jodie had been working around the apartment, doing dishes and washing clothes before she finally sat with Alex, "Wanna watch a movie?"

Alex suddenly stood up and ran to the bathroom. Jodie rushed after her and gathered Alex's hair out of her face as she heaved into the toilet. All the built up stress and pent up thoughts and emotions finally found a physical outlet.

Jodie sighed as she loosely tied Alex's hair back with a hair tie on the counter and she heard a phone ring. "I'll be right back." Jodie trotted to the phone that was on the phone and flipped it open.

"Yeah?" Jodie asked.

"Jodie," Serena sighed, "Why is Alex's phone with you?"

"Because Alex is with me," Jodie stated, "I'm kinda busy right now so…"

Serena cut her off, "Are you at your apartment?"

Jodie rolled her eyes and watched Alex slump against the wall in the bathroom, "I don't have time-"

"Jodie," Serena stated, "Where are you?"

"Fuck Serena," Jodie was beginning to irritated, "Whatever kind of therapy or whatever you want to have with Alex is going to have to hold off 'til tomorrow because right now she's smashed. You can't fix everything. Stop trying." With that Jodie snapped Alex's phone shut before going back to attending to her friend.

Serena pressed the end button on her phone and set it on the counter. Marissa looked intently at her. The shorter brunette sighed, "She won't tell me where they are, but it was quiet and Alex is smashed so they're most likely as Jodie's apartment."

Marissa slid off of the stool she was sitting on, more angry that before. _She's fucking contradicting herself. Walks out when she finds my coke and then goes out and gets smashed to deal with her problems. Damn it Alex._ Marissa stalked into her room and closed the door leaving Serena to helplessly watch.

"Who was it?" Alex asked looking up at Jodie from the bathroom floor.

"Serena," Jodie offered her hand to Alex to help her up.

Alex took it and Jodie pulled her to her feet. "Well, thanks for not telling her where I am."

"Don't worry about it," Jodie leads the way back into the living room. Alex laid down on the couch and Jodie went to the kitchen. She came back with a lime, a knife, some salt and two shot glasses.

Alex sat up expectantly. She watched Jodie sit on the floor by the coffee table and cut the lime in half. Jodie looked back up at her and shook her head, "You don't get any more until you drink that water over there." Jodie gestured with the knife toward a bottle of water on the couch.

The blonde picked it up and chugged the whole thing faster than Jodie could pour the shots. Jodie slid one over to Alex with a lime handing on the rim. Alex took the lime off and took the shot.

A few shots later, Alex was laying on the couch staring at the ceiling. Jodie crawled up on the couch from the floor and leaned back on Alex, "Why are you still thinking about her?" They adjusted themselves so that they were laying side by side on the couch.

"I dunno," Alex half-shrugged.

"You can't change her. You can't fix her. Hell you can't even help her unless she wants it," Jodie explained. She paused, "It's her choice. All you can do is be there for her I guess."

Alex mulled Jodie's words over. Then she looked at her friend and smirk, "It's sad that you get smarter when you're drunk."

Jodie rolled her eyes and grabbed the blanket behind Alex, covering both of them up. "Go to sleep before you puke again."

Alex closed her eyes. "Okay." A few seconds later Alex and Jodie were both out like lights.


	7. Chapter 7

First off I'd like to thank wonderousplaceforanecho because she's helped so much with this story bouncing ideas around with me and editing and such.

Hope you enjoy

* * *

Alex woke up to her phone ringing on the coffee table, next to her. As she reached for it she almost rolled off the couch. Jodie's arms around her kept her from falling.

Without looking to see who it was, Alex answered, "Yeah?"

"Where are you?" a guy's voice asked.

"Demar?" Alex asked.

"Yeah," he started, "It's me. Demar. Your boss. Where are you?"

Alex scrambled to get up from the couch after glancing at the clock on the wall. "I'm on my way."

She could here him laugh, "Good. See you in ten." He hung up.

"Shit!" Alex hissed and ran into Jodie's bedroom to find something to wear.

Jodie was barely awake when Alex opened the front door. "I'm taking your car."

The brunette mumbled something incoherent and rolled over, digging her face into a pillow. Suddenly her head shot up, "You're what?!'

But it was already too late. Alex had shut the door and was probably halfway down the stairs by then. She just fell back on the couch and went back to sleep.

Alex chewed on her lip while she looked over the invoice the delivery guy handed her. He was going back and forth from the truck unloading. As he came back in with one last load Alex held her hand up, "Whoa whoa whoa. We're supposed to have fifteen cases of tequila, four cases of JD, and seven cases of vodka."

"So?" the delivery guy asked not seeming to car.

"There's maybe two cases of tequila there, six cases of JD, and a shitload of vodka," Alex widened her eyes.

"That's what I got in the truck," he shrugged, "If you don't want it, I can put it back in the truck, but if you want your liquor for tonight, you should sign this." He showered her a piece of paper.

"What the fuck am I supposed to do with eighteen cases of fucking vodka?" Alex demanded.

The guy shrugged again.

"How fast can you get more liquor here that isn't vodka?" Alex sighed.

The guy looked thoughtful for a moment, "Tomorrow evening."

"Fuck," Alex cursed. She turned to the bar and set the invoice down, "Why isn't _my_ order in the truck?"

"I don't pack it," he told her, "I just deliver and you're the last stop before I go home so the truck is empty. It's this or nothing."

Alex checked her watch. There was only and hour until opening. "Fine."

He handed her the form and she quickly signed it, handing it back obviously frustrated. He decided that he had already agitated the blonde enough for one night so he left without another word.

"Demar!" Alex called from the bar.

He trotted down the metal staircase and appeared next to her. With a slight smile he asked, "You rang?"

"How are we on beer?" Alex asked, going through papers on her clipboard.

Demar shrugged, "Pretty good I guess."

"You guess?" Alex asked, looking up at him incredulously.

"That's not my department Alex," Demar hopped over the bar and started checking the coolers under the bar. "Looks like we're low on Corona though."

"Shit," Alex sighed, "What about triple sec and Kahlua?"

"I do know we have a lot of both," he said.

"Well head up to the office and print out some flyers. Half price Kamikazes and Mind Erasers.

Tonight only."

"Why?" he asked.

"We didn't get the right order, way too much vodka and we have forty-five minutes until opening," she told him, "Speaking of," she looked around, "Where is everyone?"

Demar shrugged, "No idea." He hopped back over the bar and started to walk back up the stairs.

"You'd be lost without me," Alex called up to him.

"Keep thinking that," he called back, teasing.

Alex smiled slightly before starting to stock the bar, all the while trying to keep her mind occupied with numbers and drink and orders so she wouldn't think about Marissa.

Marissa hadn't come out of her room when Serena got out of the shower at six. Serena tried to talk to her once, but was met with silence. _Maybe Jodie is right. I should stop trying to fix everything. It's their problem….but they're both so miserable. No. They're adults. They can sort it out._

As she toweled her hair, there was a knock on the front door. Serena looked down at what she was wearing a decided that boy shorts and a tank top was enough close to meet whoever was knocking at her door. It's not like strangers ever came up to her door.

The knock got louder as she got closer. "Geez," Serena muttered to herself as she unlocked the door. When it swung open, she caught sight of Jodie. Her hair was down and she was in a deep red tank top and tight jeans that accentuated the heeled boots she was wearing.

"Jodie," Serena simply stated. She could see Jodie's eyes traveling up and down her body before finally ending at her face.

"Oh," Jodie slightly blushed and looked at her boots. She regained composure and looked at Serena, "I came to get Alex's Jeep. She stole my car and I have places to go."

"People to do?" Serena quipped.

Jodie shot Serena a glare before putting her hands in her pockets, "Can I just get her keys?"

After studying Jodie for a moment, Serena nodded, "C'mon in and I'll find them."

"Thanks," Jodie followed Serena inside.

"Is Alex okay?" Serena asked.

"Yeah," Jodie asked, looking around and not seeing Marissa, "She's really torn up about Newport Barbie."

"She has a name," Serena stated, looking through the kitchen.

"Sure," Jodie crossed her arms waiting for the keys while she uncomfortably stood in the corner in silence while Serena looked for the keys. Finally, she found them in Alex's room on the nightstand.

The shorter woman threw them to Jodie who caught them and stood there, sizing up Serena.

"Yeah?" Serena asked, lazily.

"Do you want to…" Jodie trailed off, "Never mind. I'll see you later." Jodie slowly walked out the front door as Serena watched.

Once Jodie pulled out of the driveway, Serena closed her eyes and fell back, over the arm of the couch so that her legs were hanging over the side of the couch. She pulled a pillow over her face and held it there.

Marissa hadn't done much over the course of the day. She just laid in bed and stared at the ceiling until she fell asleep and when she woke up, she'd stare at the ceiling some more. Her whole body was in a state of self-anesthetization. She couldn't feel much. She barely felt the rise and fall of her chest as she breathed slow and evenly. Everything outside her head had become white noise and everything inside her head seemed like a million people screaming at the same time.

She didn't want to move for fear of shattering any sense of physical contentment she had. She didn't want to move because that might make her life as it was right then real. So real she'd have to actually deal with it. She didn't have any more drugs, but there was still a bottle of vodka under the bed. She thought about getting it out, but she didn't move. She didn't feel like she could. She didn't feel like making the world start moving again. But most of all, she didn't feel anything.

Serena softly knocked on Marissa's door and hour later, "I was going to go to a bar in a few. Wanna come?"

Silence.

"Marissa," Serena looked at the doorknob, "At least say something to let me know you're alive."

"I'm alive," Marissa's voice said evenly.

Serena sighed, "Okay, well I'm gonna go watch a movie so you know where to find me if you need me."

Silence.

Serena pushed off the door and walked into the living room, not really feeling like going to the bar away cause chances are Alex and Jodie would be there and Marissa obviously didn't want to deal with Alex and Serena definitely didn't want to deal with Jodie just yet.

"Great idea with the flyers!" Demar called over the bar to Alex who was mixing a drink. The music was blaring and the bar was packed.

"Thanks!" Alex nodded and looked out into the sea of people. She was sure if one more group walked in they'd be breaking the maximum occupancy and she knew the fire marshal liked to show up unannounced.

"Hey," the redhead woman, not much younger than Alex, that had been working behind the bar with Alex smiled at her, "You okay?"

"Huh?" Alex asked her, taking some guy's money and tossing it into the cash register before slamming it closed.

"You okay?" the redhead got closer to Alex so she could hear.

"Oh," Alex frowned and shook her head. She paused then added to her, "Tori, I'm gonna take a break. I'll send Trev over to help you."

She nodded, "Thanks."

Alex hopped over the bar and started walking out onto the dance floor. As Alex looked around for Trevor, everything seemed to slow down. Everyone was moving in slow motion. The music faded off into the distance and was replaced with a whirling sound. She stood in the middle of the floor staring at the lights blink on and off in sync with the vibrating building.

"Alex!" a guy calling her interrupted her thoughts.

She whirled around looked at him. It turned out to be Trevor. His tall muscular build hovered over Alex. He was always protective of her when she was around the bar because people would shamelessly hit on her and sometimes it got physical.

"Yeah?" she asked.

"You okay?" Trevor asked, pulling her off the dance floor. He was dressed in designer jeans and a blue shirt that showed his muscular arms. His job was to promote drinks on the dance floor and dance with whoever asked him to and occasionally to bartend.

Alex shook out of it and the music began to pulse in her ears, "I'm gonna take a break. Can you go help Tori?"

Trevor nodded, "Sure."

Alex gave a weak smile before taking off for her office. When she got there she laid down on the couch and closed her eyes. _What's wrong with me?_

Back from her mid-semester vacation early, Summer wanted to surprise her best friend with some new shoes from Barcelona. She didn't call because she didn't want Marissa to know she was back yet, so she pulled up the Cooper-Nichol mansion in the BMW.

Practically bouncing up the steps to the front door, Summer rang the doorbell, shopping bag in hand. She stood for a moment outside before the door opened.

Julie Cooper-Nichol stood at the front door, donning a red, orange, and yellow floral print dress.

"Hey," Summer smiled, "Marissa around?"

Julie raised an eyebrow, "Come again?"

"Is Marissa here?" Summer slowed down her speech. She knew sometimes she talked fast, but she was sure that Julie heard her the first time.

"I thought she was with you," Julie's eyes got wide.

"What?" Summer asked, "I've been in Spain for two weeks. Why would she be with me?"

Julie stood up straighter as if it would justify what she was about to say, "I kicked her out."

"You what?!" Summer nearly yelled, "Why?"

"Cocaine," Julie replied, holding onto the handle of the door for support, "I thought she'd just go to your house."

"No one has been in my house for two week, like I said," Summer stated. She looked at the ground and thought for a moment before looking angrily at Julie, "How could you do that?"

"I…I didn't…think…" She trailed off, the tiny brunette suddenly making her nervous.

"Exactly," Summer quipped, "We have to find her. I'll go check the Cohens'. You go check hotels."

Julie seemed to know not to argue with Summer at that time. Summer was determined to find her best friend even though jet lag was threatening to take her down.

Marissa's phone rang on the bed next to her, but she just pushed it off of the bed and rolled over. It was getting dark outside so Marissa decided to rise and head outside. She glanced at herself in the mirror on her way out the door. She had dark circles under her eyes even though she'd been sleeping most of the day.

She dreaded running into Alex, but figured she was still working so it was okay to venture out. She walked through the living room with her head down and her hands wrapped around herself. Serena watched her walk all the way outside and then watched Marissa start walking down the beach. She felt like she might need to follow Marissa in case she decided to play with the undertow again.

Alex sat in her office for another ten minutes before standing up. She grabbed Jodie's keys off of her desk and quickly made her way out of her office, through the sea of people and out the door before anyone that worked there could stop her. She could get fired, but she didn't care right then. She just needed to get away and she had something to check on.

The engine of the car roared as Alex peeled out of the parking lot. She was on the highway in minutes. As much as she loved her Jeep, Jodie's car could be loads of run too. With the top down and gas pedal down, Alex let the wind whip around her, the cool night air rushing at her face, waking her up from the exhausting day.

Rapid knocking made Seth look away from his video games long enough for Spider-Man to be pummeled by Doc Oc. "Anyone gonna get that?" he called.

No one answered and the knocking continued. He tossed his controller to the side and trotted to the front door, "Alright, I'm coming. Geez." The second he opened the door Summer asked, "Is Marissa here?"

Seth looked around, "I don't think so. I haven't seen her at school either."

They both heard the back door open and Ryan call out, "Seth!"

"Ryan c'mere," Seth called back, "Summer's here."

The boy materialized in the doorway of the kitchen. "Hey."

"Have you seen Marissa?" Summer asked with urgency that they'd never seen from her.

Ryan put his hand on her stomach and shook his head, "She's not with you?"

"Why does everyone keep asking me that?" Summer asked, "I've been in Spain. And while I was gone Julie kicked her out figuring she'd come to my house which she didn't. And the only logical choice left is to come here. But she's…not." Summer took a deep breath, "I keep calling her, but she won't answer."

Ryan went back to the kitchen and grabbed the keys to Seth's car.

"Hey whoa there," Sandy told him walking into the kitchen from the direction of his bedroom, "It's a school night. Where are you off to?"

"Julie kicked Marissa out and no one can find her," Ryan explained as he walked toward the front door, "We're going to go look for her."

"Kirsten!" Sandy called, "Marissa is missing! I'm going to help find her."

"I'm coming with you," Kirsten walked out in jeans and a white shirt.

Soon the whole group was scattered all over Newport looking for the missing socialite.

It wasn't long before Alex pulled up to her old apartment. She came to make sure Trey didn't come back. As she neared the door, she heard footsteps behind her.

A man was carrying a box, much too large or too heavy and stumbled forward. Alex sort of caught the box as it hit her causing her to back into the railing and hit a particularly painful bruise from behind shoved into the railing just a two days ago.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," he started to panic and took the box from Alex, "I'm just…I lost my balance."

Alex smiled letting the man know it was okay, "You moving in?"

He nodded, "Do you live around here?"

"Uh..." Alex shook her head, "I was just coming to check up on a…on someone. Good luck with the new apartment."

"Thanks," the guy looked on as Alex walked back to her car and sped off into the night.

A loud rumble came from the blonde's stomach. She finally realized she hadn't eaten all day. She decided to stop at a diner on the way back because when she got to the house she was definitely going to talk to Marissa.

Summer yawned as Ryan drove, "I need coffee. Pull off at this cafe thing down here and you can check the last hotel while I get caffeine."

Ryan complied, dropping Summer by the diner before he and Seth pulled out to check the last hotel in Newport.

Summer walked in and the sweet smell of syrup drifted around her. She was jet lagged and weary from looking for Marissa. She could be anywhere by now. Summer sunk into the closest booth and looked out the window, willing Marissa to appear outside.

Then Summer watched the waitress walk over to the only other person in the diner.

"I'll take a large coffee to go and uh… what's good to go?" the girl asked the waitress.

Summer knew that voice and stood to get a better look. When she saw it was Alex, she immediately walked over and sat at the booth with her.

"French toast," Alex stated to the waitress as she watched Summer appear and sit across from her.

"I'll have just coffee," Summer stated, "To go."

The waitress nodded and walked off.

"So you know?" Summer asked Alex.

"Know what?" Alex asked back. The brunette was leaning forward almost halfway across the table and Alex marveled at Summer's ability to be tiny and still make Alex feel intimidated.

"That Marissa's gone," Summer stated simply, like Alex should know.

"Aren't you supposed to be in Switzerland?" Alex asked suddenly wondering if Marissa made everything up just to be able to crash at her place.

The smaller girl raised an eyebrow, "No. I was in Spain."

"Yeah, Spain whatever," Alex shrugged as her coffee arrived. She started adding cream and sugar until it tasted just right while Summer looked on in disbelief.

"Why aren't you panicking?" Summer asked, waving her arms around emphatically, "Marissa is missing."

"Marissa is fine," Alex said coolly as the waitress returned with Summer's drink and Alex's food.

Summer studied the blonde before asking, "Is she staying with you?"

"I'm not telling anywhere where she is unless she wants me to," Alex said with enough certainty that Summer knew she wouldn't budge on the subject at all.

She bit her lip for a bit before asking, "Are you two…back… together?"

Alex sighed heavily and took a bite of her food to keep from having to answer immediately. When she swallowed she gulped, "I…we…she…I dunno. I don't think so."

Summer saw the guys pull up outside, "I guess I better call off the search party."

"Good idea," Alex stated and continued to practically inhale her food because she didn't want to be in Newport any longer than she had to.

But instead of going outside, Summer waved the guys in.

Alex rolled her eyes and pushed her plate away dropping a twenty next to hit. "I'll see you around."

"Alex," Summer stood. Her eyes were pleading with the taller blonde, "Please ask Marissa to call me."

"She doesn't really listen to me right now…she doesn't even like to be in the same room as me, but I'll get the message to her," Alex promised in a quiet defeated sort of way.

"Thanks," Summer unexpectedly pulled Alex into a hug, "Take care of her for me."

"Always do," Alex answered before walking out of the diner as the guys walked in.

"Hey Alex!" Seth called after her, "Wanna help look for Marissa?"

Alex put her head down as she briskly walked to Jodie's car, ignoring her scrawny ex.

It took less time to get back to her house than it should have. She sped all the way home and thankfully there were no cops on the road. She practically ran inside and stopped when she saw Serena sitting on the couch.

"Where's Marissa?"

"She's out on the beach," Serena answered, "Why?"

"I need to talk to her," Alex walked to the back door, "Which way?"

"Toward the cliffs," Serena stated, a smile playing at the corners of her mouth as Alex started jogging down the beach.

As she neared the cliffs that Serena earlier referred to, Alex saw a slim figure sitting on a rock near the bottom, holding her knees close. Even from the distance, she could tell Marissa was shivering. The wind that blew between the rocks was cold and unkind.

Trotting the rest of the way over, Alex took off her jacket as she ran and as soon as she got close enough, she dropped it on Marissa's shoulders.

Marissa jumped and looked up. When she saw Alex, she ignored her and looked back at the ocean ramming into the rocks in front of her.

"I…uh…I wanna talk," Alex sat on a large rock next to the one Marissa was sitting on, "But I can wait…if you want."

Marissa wrapped the jacket tighter around herself and looked at the sand under her feet, "Go ahead."

"You were right about it being your life," Alex sighed and ran her hand over the rock under her, "I just…I care about you too much to watch you do that to yourself."

There was a long pause. Marissa was staring, seemingly angrily at the ocean. The scowl on her face didn't go unnoticed by the blonde.

Alex sighed and stood, "That's what I came to say. I guess I'll see you at the house. Oh and I saw Su-" A looked from Marissa cut her off. The only word Alex could think of to describe how Marissa looked at that moment was broken. Maybe shattered.

Marissa looked up at Alex with tear filled eyes. "I don't feel anything. After Trey...and my mom, I can't feel anything. It's just numb and I started to wonder if I'd ever feel again. Then I tried the drugs. And I felt something again, but each time when it ended it'd feel numb all over again. It's terrible. Nothing seems real. Nothing feels real."

Alex bit her lip and listened. She didn't know how she could help Marissa, she just knew that she really wanted to.

"Then you kissed me and I felt something. Then I felt your hands all over my body. Then I was mad at you." Marissa explained, "Then I was scared you'd hate me. Then you left and I felt numb again."

"Why would I hate you?" Alex sat on the same rock Marissa was sitting on, leaving little room between them.

"The…drugs," Marissa stated.

Alex shook her head, "I could never hate you. No matter what you do." Alex rubbed the material of her jeans and then rested her hands on her knees.

Marissa gingerly picked up Alex's hands and ran her thumb over the cuts that were starting to heal. "Why did you do it?"

The blonde knew exactly what Marissa was talking about, "Just the thought of someone trying to do what he tried to do…It was almost unbearable. Then I thought of what you were going through because of him. I couldn't do nothing."

Marissa slowly, laid her head on Alex's shoulder, "I don't know what I'd do without you."

Wary of touching Marissa in the wrong way, Alex just rested her head on Marissa's, "You'd need another headrest."

Marissa chuckled.

A shrill ring broke the ring of serenity surrounding the girls. Alex pulled the phone out of her pocket and saw it was Serena. "Hey," Alex answered.

"Hey," Serena quickly whispered into the phone, "There's a scary, pissed off woman here demanding to see Marissa."

"Who?" Alex asked, sitting up straighter.

"Judy Cooper?" Serena didn't sound so sure, "She banged on the door demanding to see Marissa."

"Julie?" Alex asked in disbelief, "She must have followed me."

"Well would you like to come deal with her," Serena ordered more than asked.

"I'll be right there," Alex saw that Marissa was starting to drift to sleep. She hung up the phone and turned to the girl laying on her shoulder. "Your mom is here."

That snapped Marissa into the waking world, "What? Why?"

"I guess she followed me," Alex sighed, "I went back to Newport to make sure Trey was really gone." Alex looked at the expectant eyes of her ex and sort of girlfriend. "He's gone."

Marissa seemed to relax a bit before remembering her mother was waiting for them at the house. "Let's get this over with. She's probably scared Serena half to death. No one should be left alone with your mother."

Marissa slid her arms into the sleeves of the jacket Alex put on her and stood. Alex shoved her hands in her pockets as soon as she was up and followed Marissa away from the cliff.

"We still have a lot to talk about," Marissa added as the house came into view.

Alex nodded.

Once at the porch, Marissa turned around after taking one step up, "Is it still okay for me to stay with you?"

"Of course," Alex nodded, "As long as you want."

Marissa nodded looking at the sand then moving her eyes to the blonde. She was looking down at Alex because of the step she was standing on. She took a step down and slid her arms around Alex's middle, her head making it's way to her shoulder. Alex was stunned for a beat before wrapping her arms around Marissa.

"Are you okay?" Alex whispered into Marissa's hair.

"I'm getting there," Marissa immediately answered. She pulled away a little and softly brushed her lips against Alex's. The kiss only lasted a few seconds because they both knew they still had something to talk about after Julie left.

Marissa closed her eyes as her forehead pressed against Alex's. "Will you stay with me? While my mom is here?"

"Of course," Alex said with more confidence than she actually had when dealing with the eldest Cooper.

Marissa moved so that her cheek was pressing against Alex's. Her words came out like a lazy stream, flowing easily out of her mouth, "I can feel your heart beating."

The blonde smiled and kissed the side of Marissa's head, taking in both the literal and metaphorical meaning of that sentence.

With one last, soft, short kiss, Marissa led the way into the living room where Julie was sitting with Serena, arms crossed.

"Marissa!" she exclaimed when she saw her daughter. She stood up and rounded the couch to her daughter who just looked at her.

"What?" Marissa asked.

Julie sighed and looked at the fabric of her dress, "I may have been wrong in throwing you out. But in all honestly I though Summer was in town and you were going to stay with her. Not…._here_."

"There's nothing wrong with here," Marissa defended the house like it was her own, "This is where I live because if you forgot, you kicked me out."

Serena shot a panicked looked to Alex who just shrugged. She knew Marissa could hold her own against Julie. They were just there if things got out of hand.

"I'm sorry," Julie barely choked out, "I want you to come back."

Marissa gulped and looked at Alex who knew all she could do was support whatever decision Marissa made. The brunette looked back at her mother, "Interesting idea mom. I'll give that some thought."

It took all Alex had not to burst out laughing. Not only at the line Marissa delivered with a straight face, but for the perplexed look on Julie's face.

"Well," Julie pulled Marissa into her arms, "I can't force you to stay, but if you ever do want to come back the door is open."

"Thanks mom," Marissa sighed into her mom's shoulder.

Julie reluctantly pulled away, "I love you."

"Love you too," Marissa mumbled.

The matriarch looked over at Alex, "Take care of her for me."

"She always does," Marissa answered for Alex. She glanced back at Alex with a small smile.

They said their goodbyes and Julie begrudgingly left, but promised to return with new curtains, vases, and candles.

"I could sleep for days," Alex leaned again the wall in the kitchen.

Marissa nodded, "Let's go get on that."

"Wait," Alex reached into her pocket and pulled out her phone, "Summer wants to talk to you."

"Okay," she lightly took the phone from Alex and quickly dialed Summer's number.

"Hey Sum," Marissa said.

Alex laughed when she could hear Summer yelling through the phone.

"Can Summer come over tomorrow?" Marissa asked Alex.

The blonde just shrugged, "It doesn't matter to me. I'll be asleep."

"I'll give you directions tomorrow," Marissa assured Summer, "Yeah Summer. Yes Summer…okay. Bye." She snapped the phone shut and leaned back on the counter.

"Bed?" Alex asked.

Marissa nodded, "Carry me?"

After a short laugh, Alex nodded and turned around. Marissa hopped onto her back and adjusted herself so that her head was on Alex's shoulder.

Once in the bedroom they both fell on the bed completely exhausted.

"Weren't we supposed to have another talk?" Marissa asked in the dark.

Alex closed her eyes, "Yeah."

"So?" Marissa waited on Alex to say something.

The blue eyes bore into Marissa's green eyes and she felt like anything Alex ever needed to tell her, she could say just by looking at her.

"Alex?" Marissa asked.

"Hmm?"

"I'm sorry about the bonfire."

"No need to apologize. The past is the past."

There was silence for a few more seconds then Marissa went on. "Alex?"

"Hmm?"

"I missed you."

"I missed you too Riss." Marissa felt some soft lips on her own and too the opportunity to rest her hand on Alex's hip.

"Alex?" Marissa asked again into the dark.

"Yes dear?"

Marissa giggled into the night, "Will you go on a date with me tomorrow?"

"Of course."

"So there's another chance for us?" Marissa asked insecurely.

"Definitely," Alex pulled Marissa close to her, "Now go to sleep. You have a dazzling date to plan tomorrow."

Marissa smiled, "It'll rock your world."

Alex couldn't stop a smile, "Oh really?"

"Yup," Marissa answered, running her hand under Alex's shirt careful not to push down too hard because the blonde still had bruises. She snuggled into Alex more and chastely kissed her neck.

"Goodnight Alex."

"Goodnight Riss."


	8. Chapter 8

The next morning, Alex, Marissa, and Serena lounged around on the couch, eating cereal and were searching for something to watch on TV.

"Ooh!" Marissa said with a mouthful of cereal. She pointed to the TV, "Will and Grace!"

Serena chuckled and turned the channel back.

"God Marissa you've seen this one a million times," Alex lulled her head back, "You own every single season."

"Shut up," Serena and Marissa said in unison, their eyes fixed on the TV.

After sulking for a moment, Alex let a mischievous smirk escape her lips. She dipped her spoon into the leftover milk in her bowl and raised it to her lips. Then she slurped the milk as loud as she could while staring at the TV, pretending to be listening.

Marissa's eyes widened and slowly turned her head to look at her blonde girlfriend. Serena tilted her head from her laying position to look at Alex while she slurped again. The blonde fought to keep from smiling and kept staring at the TV.

"Alexandra Grace Kelly," Marissa said sternly.

Alex finally broke into a smile while she looked at her girlfriend and brought the entire bowl to her lips.

"Don't," Marissa tilted her head forward and put a fake scowl on her face.

Just asked Marissa finished the word, Alex tilted the bowl and noisily sucked down the rest of the milk, while Marissa looked on, mouth agape and Serena fought not to laugh at the adorable interaction between the two.

When Alex set the bowl down Marissa smiled at her, "You uh…" Marissa pointed to Alex's milk mustache, "Got a little something."

Alex leaned over and pressed her lips to Marissa's, erasing her milk mustache and transferring some leftover milk to Marissa's lips.

"Ew," Marissa whipped off her mouth, "Alex!" She grabbed the blanket next to her and wiped her mouth.

"Hey!" Serena called, "That's my favorite blanket."

"It's Alex's fault," Marissa grumbled.

"Aww," Alex leaned over and wrapped her arms around Marissa.

Marissa rolled her eyes and leaned into Alex. She knew that she couldn't stay mad at Alex when she was in a playful mood like that and even more annoyingly, she knew that Alex knew.

The loud knocking on the door interrupted their lazy morning. Alex looked at Serena who seemed to know what Alex was trying to say.

"No please," Serena deadpanned, "Don't get up. I'll get it."

"Thanks," Alex smiled resting her head on Marissa's shoulder, not wanting to be far away from her brunette beauty.

Serena easily flipped open the locks and pulled the door open.

"Do you ever wear clothes?" the visitor asked referring to Serena's cami and boy shorts, before stepping inside, not waiting for an invitation. "Hey Blondie, where are my keys?"

"Come in," Serena quipped sarcastically as she closed the door, "Make yourself at home."

Jodie narrowed her eyes at the shorter brunette, but instead of saying something she walked to where Serena was sitting and sat in her spot, ignoring her and watching TV.

"I was sitting there," Serena put her hands on her hips, blocking Jodie's view of the TV.

Jodie knew that it was Serena's favorite spot to sit so she remained there, trying to see the TV around the shorter girl. "You're a better door than a window."

"Jodie!" Serena snapped, making Jodie look at her.

"Yes?" Jodie asked with a fake innocent smile. She batted her eyelashes for effect.

"Ugh!" the psych student huffed and stalked into the kitchen, "Why are you so damn difficult?"

"Why don't you wear clothes?" Jodie quipped getting up and following Serena into the kitchen.

"It's my fucking house!" the shorter brunette's voice raised a few octaves, leaving Jodie stunned and frozen in the steps.

Alex and Marissa were watching the interaction from the couch.

"Shouldn't you do something?" Marissa whispered, resting her cheek up against Alex's as they watched the two fight.

The blonde shook her head, "Keep watching. It's just getting good."

"You're so immature!"

"You're so controlling!"

"Don't you have your own apartment to hang around at?"

"Yeah, but it's more fun to be here and bug you," Jodie smirked. They were inches apart, Serena angrily staring at Jodie who looked smug, not at all phased by the shorter girl.

They stood like that for a few more seconds before they both moved in, their lips crashing together. Jodie's hands easily found Serena's waist as the shorter girl's hands made their way to the back of Jodie's head. The sheer force of the kiss sent them back into the counter, where Jodie finally pinned Serena.

Serena took charge and started pulling Jodie to her bedroom without loosing physical connections.

Marissa looked at Alex with an open mouth and Alex just grinned, "I knew it was only a matter of time."

"They're having sex," Marissa's expression still one of shock.

"Probably," Alex shrugged. She studied her girlfriend for a second, "Wanna go outside?"

Marissa quickly nodded.

Alex chuckled and stood, offering her hand to Marissa. Marissa took the blonde's hand and let herself be pulled out onto the back porch.

While Marissa slid the door shut, Alex laid down in the hammock. She held out her arms for Marissa who easily climbed into the hammock and laid half on top of Alex, her arms wrapped around Alex's middle and her head on the blonde's shoulder.

Alex lazily stroked Marissa's hair while she looked out at the water. The sky was overcast and the waves were lower than usual. Marissa closed her eyes, loving the feeling of the bartender's fingers running through her hair. Marissa marveled in how no matter which way they lay, they always seemed to fit perfectly with each other.

"You know at some point you have to go back to school right?" Alex said and then added, "You've already missed like four days."

"I've missed three days," Marissa stated, matter of factly.

Alex raised an eyebrow knowing that Marissa knew what she meant.

The taller girl raised herself over the blonde as best she could and took a deep breath. Alex brought her hands to Marissa's hips and smiled up at her girlfriend who looked adorable while she was deep in thought.

"I think that I'm…" Marissa started to says as she played with Alex's heart necklace, "going to move back to Newport."

Alex's expression was unreadable as she studied the girl on top of her.

"I want us to stay together," Marissa quickly added, "I just…I don't want to ruin things this time by going too fast."

Finally the blonde nodded, "Makes sense."

"Smile?" Marissa asked Alex.

Alex couldn't help, but smile at the adorableness that her girlfriend was full of.

Marissa's smile faded and she studied Alex's face before tracing her finger along Alex's face, from the top of her nose, to under her eye, and then down her jaw line. "You're so beautiful."

This incited a very rare blush from the blonde.

Marissa smiled again and a laid her head on Alex's shoulder.

The brunette was almost asleep again when they heard a car pull up and stop in the driveway. One car door opened, then slammed closed and they could hear heels on the front porch.

Marissa smiled lazily, "It's Summer." She sat up as much as she could in her awkward position and called, "Sum we're in the back!"

Alex put her hands over her ears and rolled on her side.

"Stop being such a wuss," Marissa sneered at her girlfriend.

Summer came walking around the corner of the porch with the usual bounce in her step.

"Hey!" Marissa beamed and got out of the hammock. Apparently she forgot that the hammock could swing because when she let go to hug Summer, the hammock swung away from her with her girlfriend on it.

Anticipating the effects, Alex rolled off of the hammock and barely landed on her feet to keep from face-planting into the wood porch, while the hammock kept swinging. Having avoided that near-disaster Alex paused on the ground, but when the hammock came back toward her she was hit in the side of the head with the wooden piece that held the hammock together.

"Shit!" Alex hissed and grabbed her head.

Summer, being the only one that witnessed the accident because her best friend's back was turned during their hug, knelt down next to Alex and stopped the hammock from swinging so the same thing wouldn't happen to her. "Are you okay?"

"What happened?" Marissa asked.

"You just gave your- uh, Alex a concussion," Summer stumbled over a word that she wasn't sure she could use. She didn't want to assume that Alex and Marissa were together again.

"My Alex?" Marissa asked with a smirk, looking at her best friend.

"I didn't…know…" Summer started, but changed the subject, "You gave her a concussion."

"It's not a concussion," Alex rubbed her head.

Marissa carefully leaned in and parted Alex's hair where the wood hit surveying the damage. Her eyebrows furrowed as leaned closer. Then she slightly smiled, "I don't see anything babe." Marissa gently kissed the area and then helped Alex to her feet.

"I guess it's safe to say you two are together again," Summer tried to fight a smile from showing her true feelings about their reunion.

Marissa beamed and nodded, "Yeah."

Both brunettes looked over at Alex who was still frowning and rubbing her head. Marissa suddenly felt really bad and snaked her arms around the blonde's waist. "I'm sorry. Do you want some aspirin or something?"

The blue-eyed girl couldn't help, but smile at Marissa. "I'm okay. Really."

"Are you sure?" Marissa bit her lip, "Do you wanna go lay down?"

Alex shook her head, "It's okay."

Marissa gently put her finger under Alex's chin and turned Alex's head to the side so that she could kiss the injured area again.

Alex grinned when Marissa finished, "Well, now that I think about it. It kinda hurts here." Alex pointed to her cheek and Marissa followed her finger with a kiss. "And here," Alex pointed to her other cheek. The brunette chuckled and kissed Alex's other cheek.

"And, uh, here," Alex pointed to her lips.

The taller girl tentatively pressed her lips to Alex's, immediately starting to gently nibble at the blonde's bottom lip.

This lasted for a few seconds before Summer cleared her throat.

Alex immediately blushed and broke the kiss while Marissa smiled smugly.

"You two are disgustingly cute," Summer leaned back on the railing of the porch.

"Thanks?" Marissa half-asked.

"I'm gonna let you two catch up," Alex kissed Marissa's cheek. She started to walk back inside and paused when Marissa asked where she was going. Alex looked out at the ocean. "Look at those waves."

"Oh," Marissa smiled knowingly, "Wear your blue one."

Alex chuckled, "Got it."

Summer and Marissa sat on the hammock side by side. Marissa glanced over at her best friend, "How was Spain?"

"It was great," Summer smiled, "So beautiful. I got you a present, but left it at your house in a panic." Summer paused thoughtfully, "I mean your mom's house." Another pause, "Are you coming back?"

Marissa nodded, "Of course."

"What about Alex?" Summer asked as she saw Alex walk from the side of the house toward the beach, wearing a blue swimsuit and carrying a yellow surfboard. Marissa noticed some of the bruises from her fight with Trey that the swimsuit revealed.

Alex looked up at the porch and gave a slight smile to the two friends before stepping into the water.

A lingering smile graced Marissa's lips, "We're going to stay together."

"Good," Summer nodded approvingly.

"Good?" Marissa asked with a raised eyebrow.

Summer chuckled, "Don't look surprised. Cohen was the one pushing you and Ryan together. You always seemed more relaxed and happy with Alex. You know, when you're not freaking out about laundry and fat guys that like NASCAR."

"Yeah…" Marissa sighed happily.

"Oh before I forget," Summer looked at her hands, "I kinda…let it slip to Seth what Trey did."

Marissa looked at Summer, not really showing any change of emotion.

"Why aren't you freaking out?" Summer asked.

"I don't see why I should," the taller girl leaned back.

Summer checked her phone, "Because I'm waiting to get a text from Cohen that says he accidentally let it slip to Ryan who is going to kick Trey's ass."

"Trey's gone," Marissa stated matter of factly.

The darker haired brunette raised an eyebrow, "Why?"

Her best friend just pointed to the blonde girl who was now on the surfboard waiting to catch the perfect wave.

"Alex?" Summer asked for clarification.

Marissa nodded, "After I told her, she…practically ran out the door and came back hours later covered in bruises and cuts, but she said he's gone."

"I haven't seen him around," Summer nodded. She then looked at the blonde easily stand up on the surfboard, "She kicked his ass and made him leave?"

"Yeah."

"He's been to prison."

"Alex has been getting in fights and taking care of herself for a long time."

"She did it for you?"

Marissa paused, thinking about what her girlfriend did for her, possibly risking her life. "Yeah she did."

"Wow," Summer looked at her best friend, "I'd say she's a keeper."

After an hour, Alex was finally done surfing and put her board up. She walked up the porch where the best friends were still talking.

"Townsend is so gunning for your position," Summer rolled her eyes.

Marissa sighed, "She has been since third grade." Marissa turned her head to look at her girlfriend, "Hey baby."

Alex grabbed a towel off the railing and wiped off her face. "Hey chica. How's bonding?"

"Great," Marissa smiled.

"Well," Summer looked at her phone, "I have to get going. I promised Cohen we could go see a movie."

Alex laughed.

"What?" Summer asked.

"You do know X-Men just came out right?" Alex asked.

Summer groaned, "Oh no." She got out of the hammock and Marissa and Alex walked her to her car.

Marissa hugged Summer. When they stepped away Summer said. "I'll see you…"

"Monday night," Marissa stated.

"Sunday night," Alex corrected Marissa.

Marissa raised an eyebrow at Alex.

"You've already missed a lot of school," Alex put her hands on her bikini clad hips.

The tallest girl looked at the shortest, "Fine I'll see you Monday morning at school."

"As Cohen would say," Summer wielded an invisible whip and added the sound effect.

Marissa narrowed her eyes at her best friend, who just laughed and got in her car. After Summer pulled away, Marissa turned to the bartender, her arms crossed. The blonde smiled and looped her fingers though the brunette's belt loops and pulled her close, "School is important."

"You said it wasn't last year," Marissa whined.

"I said there wasn't much to learn about the Aztecs," Alex smirked, "Which I just said so you'd hang out with me." She tried to stifle a yawn, but finally let it out and covered her mouth with her hand, "I'm beat."

"Wanna go to bed?" Marissa asked, seductively.

Alex laughed, "Always."

As they walked inside, they heard giggling. When they got to the living room they saw Serena straddling Jodie who was leaning back on the couch.

"Ooh la la," Alex mocked them.

Jodie managed to flip Alex off without her lips leaving Serena's.

"C'mon," Marisa pulled Alex into the bedroom, "We only have a day and a half to be together before I move back. Let's make the most of it."

Alex grinned and allowed Marissa to pull her into the bedroom and shut the door behind her.


	9. Chapter 9

The shrill ring of Alex's phone woke her up at two the next afternoon. She and Marissa stayed up all night and finally went to sleep four hours ago.

She blindly reached for her phone and grabbed it, flipping it open and sleepily answered, "What?…who?…Today is my day off Demar…I know…But…Fuck, why?…didn't you pay the bill?…then stay closed…Seriously?…Fine." Alex angrily snapped her phone shut.

"Who was it?" Marissa mumbled into her pillow which happened to be Alex's stomach.

"Work," Alex sighed.

"Stay," Marissa shook her head.

Alex fought to keep her eyes open, "I can't. The power went out at work. I have to direct the salvage."

"But," Marissa finally opened her eyes and looked at the blonde, "I have to leave tonight."

Alex stroked Marissa's long brown locks and thought for a moment, "You can come with me and sleep on the couch in my office. Then afterwards we can go out on a date."

"Mmm," Marissa closed her eyes again and kissed the blonde's bare stomach, "Okay."

They both slowly got dressed and Alex drove them to work, the cold water she splashed on her face the only thing keeping her awake enough to drive. When she finally parked in parking lot of the club, Marissa was asleep in the seat next to her.

"Wake up baby," Alex leaned over and stroked Marissa's cheek.

Marissa's eyes fluttered open, "We're here?"

Alex chuckled and nodded.

Marissa kissed Alex before she had a chance to get away. Alex felt Marissa start to deepen the kiss and reluctantly pulled away because she knew they could stay in the Jeep for an extended make out session for almost an hour.

"C'mon," Alex sighed, "Let's go get you to lay down."

Marissa sleepily nodded and slid out of the Jeep.

Once Marissa was settled in Alex's office with the door closed, Alex slowly walked down the stairs. "What happened?" Alex demanded of the club's owner and the present staff.

"Someone was digging a hole for their pool and cut the grounding lines," Demar explained, "The electric company said they'll have it fixed by tomorrow."

"So why am I here?" Alex asked, obviously aggravated.

"I'm just the money and the handy man," Demar admitted, "You're the brains kid."

"Number one," Alex pointed at him, "Don't call me kid." She looked around at the group of other people who were standing around, "Half of you take inventory of what we have in the coolers. Do not open them. At all. For any reason. They have glass fronts for a reason. The other half go to the nearest store and buy as much ice as you can and a bunch of those little kid pools with the palm trees on it. Obviously we're going to have to close before it get's dark so hurry and tell everyone you see we're opening at three."

The group dispersed and Alex rubbed her eyes. She looked at Demar, "You need to go to the storage room and get out the fake palm trees. We're having a Hawaii night so any sand you might have handy would be great."

Demar nodded, "You're a genius."

"You remember that when it's time for you to write my paycheck," Alex smirked and walked off.

She quietly entered her office as to not wake the sleeping girl on the couch. Alex smiled when she saw Marissa sprawled over the entire couch. As much as Alex wanted to lay down, she couldn't bring herself to wake Marissa and ask her to move over so she sat behind her best and laid her head back.

A few minutes later there was a knock on her door before it opened. Alex's head shot up when one of the bouncers walked in her office. "Hey Alex," he said.

She shot him a death glare and pointed to Marissa. She walked over to him, and pulled him out of the office, "If you wake her up I will throttle you."

"Sorry," he whispered, "What do you want us to do with the kiddie pools?"

"Inflate them and fill them with the ice," she explained, "Then put all the beer that's already in the coolers in the pools. Clear off the counter behind the bars and put the pools up there. Then go help Demar with the rest of the decorations."

He nodded and walked off.

Alex walked back in her office and closed the door again. She looked at Marissa who was still fast asleep. She looked around the room and saw one of her jackets folded on the end of the couch. She unfolded it and laid it over her girlfriend's torso. She smiled at how adorable her girlfriend was then softly kissed Marissa's cheek.

At three people slowly started to arrive and before anyone knew it the club was packed. Alex was in a daze behind the bar but still managed to keep up with the orders. She kept glancing at the door of her office to see if Marissa was awake. It was definitely getting loud and she knew that whatever you could hear on the dancefloor, a muted version was playing in the office.

Soon Alex knew she either needed to sleep or she was going to pass out on her feet. She looked over at Tori, "I need to...um…"

"Go to sleep," Tori smiled, "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Thanks Tori," Alex tiredly smiled back.

Just as she reached for the door of her office, it opened. Marissa stopped where she was and smiled, "Hey babe."

"Hey," Alex smiled.

"You look exhausted," Marissa touched Alex's cheek, "Lay down please."

Alex nodded and fell on the couch.

Marissa knelt next to Alex, "I had an idea right after I woke up and I need your keys. I'll be back."

The blonde raised an eyebrow, but pulled the Jeep keys out of her pocket, "Okay."

"Thanks," Marissa kissed Alex, "Sleep well. I'll be back later."

Alex finally let her eyes close and pulled her jacket over her head.

A few hours later, Alex's eyes fluttered open. It was pitch dark in her office. She looked around and didn't seen anyone move so apparently Marissa was still gone. She sighed and decided to see if anyone was still at the bar. So she wouldn't bump into anything she pulled the phone out of her pocket and used the light from the screen to find her way to the door. When she opened it, a soft glow filled the room.

Her mouth dropped open and her pocketed her phone. There were white candles all over place. A mass of them were placed on the bar and the rest were scattered in a U-shape around a blanket laid out in the middle of the dance floor. Soft music was coming out of the massive speakers and Marissa was standing on the blanket.

The brunette looked over at Alex and smiled, "Did you sleep okay?"

Alex nodded and walked over to Marissa, "What's this?"

"It's our date," Marissa smiled. She walked over to her girlfriend and softly kissed her. She started to pull away, but Alex deepened the kiss. She felt Marissa hold onto her waist so she wrapped her arms around Marissa's neck.

The need for air became a problem so they had to pull away. Alex glanced around again, "Riss, this is…wow."

"That's what I was going for," Marissa took Alex's hand and lead to her to the blanket. Alex noticed a Styrofoam container on the blanket. Marissa sat down and Alex followed her lead.

When Marissa opened the container Alex smiled, "My favorite."

"I know," Marissa picked up the plastic fork out of the container.

Alex took a bite of the pasta covered in alfredo and date back with a "Mmm." She handed Marissa the fork and she took a bite. Soon the pasta was gone and the two were engaged in a heated make out session.

"Alex?" Marissa asked, looking up at her girlfriend from her laying position on the blanket.

"Yeah?" Alex smiled sweetly at her girlfriend.

Marissa bit her lip and touched Alex's hair. Her voice came out barely over a whisper, "I love you."

Alex studied Marissa for a moment, "Really?"

The brunette bit her lip and nodded., "Definitely."

"I love you too," Alex replied.

Marissa replayed with Alex just said in her head. The way she said it made Marissa know it was true and not just the obligatory response. She caught Alex's lips and held the blonde tight against her feeling that everything right then was perfect.


	10. Chapter 10

Special thanks to you know who ;p

* * *

When they tried to quietly sneak back into the house, they found the lights in the living room still on and Jodie and Serena were sitting on the couch watching a movie.

"Wow is Jodie really watching Gosford Park?" Alex asked with a smirk.

"I love this movie," Jodie narrowed her eyes and seemed like she was warning the blonde.

In response the girl leaned down and whispered in her ear, "What happened to it being a pretentious piece of shit?"

Serena looked at the two friends with curiosity. "What?"

Alex stood up and announced, "Serena doesn't like Shakira."

"What?!" Jodie nearly shrieked. She turned to Serena.

Serena widened her eyes at Alex and blurted out, "Alex listens to George Michael!"

A huge shit-eating grin passed over Jodie's face and she slowly turned to look at Alex.

"Okay, that's enough," Marissa started to push Alex toward the room they'd shared the previous night.

"You're never living this down Kelly!" Jodie called from the couch as Marissa kicked the door shut behind them.

They laid on the bed in the dark for a few minutes before Marissa spoke, "How are we going to do this?"

"Do what?" Alex asked, her eyes closed as Marissa stroked her hair.

"Am I going to come up here every weekend?" Marissa thought out loud, "Or are we going to alternate weekends? Or Monday, Wednesday, Fridays? Or Wednesday and the weekends?"

Alex let out a laugh and Marissa stopped talking, "This isn't a custody case. We can take it as we go. Make plans when we can. We'll work it out."

There was a pause and Alex felt Marissa snuggled more into her, "I'm going to miss you."

The blonde kissed Marissa's cheek, "I'm going to miss you too. But I'm only a short drive away."

"Are you sure you don't want me to go back Monday?" Marissa asked.

"What I want and what is right are two different things," Alex pulled the blanket over the two since Marissa opened the window earlier and the air outside was starting to get chilly.

"What do you want?" Marissa almost whispered again the skin of Alex's shoulder, before kissing the area.

After a sigh Alex let out, "I want you to say here, but you can't. You have school."

"I can drop out," Marissa offered, only half serious, "Get my GED and get a job."

"No," Alex said firmly, "I don't want my life for you. You deserve better."

"So do you," Marissa raised her hand to cup Alex's cheek. She drew Alex in for a tender lingering kiss. When the kiss ended Marissa laid her head right next to Alex's, "And someday you'll have better."

"My life can't get any better now that I have you back," Alex smiled into the dark.

Marissa giggled, "That was sweet. Cheesy, but sweet."

"It's what I do," Alex closed her eyes again and leaned against Marissa.

The next afternoon, Alex put Marissa's last suitcase in the trunk of her car.

"I don't want to go," Marissa leaned into Alex's back and rested her chin on the blonde's shoulder.

"Yes you do," Alex reached back and rubbed the back of the taller girl's hair before turning around, gently kissing her.

"Come with me?" Marissa asked.

"I am," Alex told her, "I'm following you to help you unload it because you batted those beautiful eyelashes of yours and suddenly I'll do whatever you want."

Marissa grinned smugly, "I meant, stay the night?"

"I have work tomorrow," Alex replied.

"Not until two," Marissa exaggeratedly batted her eyelashes, "Please?"

"Won't your mom have a problem with it?" Alex asked snaking her arms around Marissa's waist.

She slid her hands up Alex's arms before threading them together behind Alex's neck, "So?"

"So, I don't want to piss her off," Alex answered, "It's not a good way to get her to let you come here on the weekends."

Marissa bit her lip and held Alex's eyes, "Fine, we'll talk about it."

Before Alex could protest Marissa caught her lips.

"Get a room!" Jodie called from the front porch with Serena next to her.

"Be nice," Serena told Jodie as she descended the steps.

Marissa smiled at Serena and walked to the shorter brunette, "Thank you so much."

"Anytime," Serena warmly accepted the hug from Marissa.

"Bye Alex!" Jodie called, not moving off of the porch.

"I'm coming back," Alex raised her eyebrow at Jodie.

Jodie smirked, "I was saying bye to the badass Alex. Mushy and whipped Alex is back."

Alex rolled her eyes and got in the driver's seat of her Jeep while Marissa hugged Serena one last time before walking over to the Jeep. She stepped up on the runner and kissed Alex before getting into her car.

The drive to the Cooper-Nichol mansion was too short for both girls. Alex got out of her Jeep looking at it, "It's bigger than I remember."

Marissa opened her trunk and grabbed two suitcases. "Yeah."

Alex walked over to Marissa's car and opened the passenger's side to get more suitcases out. "Riss."

"Hmm?" Marissa asked, putting the suitcases she had down and walking over to where Alex was.

"What's this?" Alex asked picking up the box Marissa was supposed to give to Alex from her old apartment.

"Oh," Marissa added quietly, "Your old landlord told me to give that to you. That's how I found you."

Alex sorted through the box and laughed, "You're sneaky."

"I told you that before, you should have listened," Marissa smiled, relieved she wasn't in trouble with the blonde already.

Alex moved to box to her Jeep and picked up the suitcases she was getting before seeing the box.

They lugged the suitcases up the stairs, not seeing anyone else in the house, and when they got to her room, Marissa fell back on the bed after dropping the suitcases by the door.

"Are you going to unpack tonight?" Alex asked, sitting on the bed next to Marissa.

"No," Marissa replied, "That's a lot to unpack and I'm tired already."

"We made one trip up the stairs," Alex turned to look at the girl stretched out on the bed.

The brunette smiled, "A long, heavy trip."

Alex laughed, "Okay."

"Marissa is that you?" Julie's voice called as the clicking of heels got closer.

"Yeah," Marissa called back and looked over at Alex who looked a little panicked.

Julie materialized in the doorway and smiled when she saw Marissa, "I'm so glad you're home."

"Mhm," Marissa replied, uninterested in her mother's spiel.

The eldest Cooper surveyed Alex and added, "Hi Alex. How are you?"

"I'm okay," Alex raised an eyebrow.

"Good," Julie nodded, politely, "I expect you'll be spending the night."

"Yeah she is," Marissa answered before Alex could say otherwise.

Alex looked over at Marissa with wide eyes and Marissa just smiled back.

Julie's jaw clenched, but she knew there wasn't much she could do in this situation so she said, "Well let me know if you girls need anything. Goodnight." With that Julie left.

"I didn't say I was going to stay," Alex looked at Marissa.

"You know you are," Marissa confidently grinned.

Alex rolled her eyes and laid back on the bed, "I don't have anything to wear."

"Who says you have to wear anything?" Marissa's eyes sparkled.

The next morning the two girls got up together before Marissa had to go to school and got ready by way of a joint shower and picking out what the other would wear.

As they descended the stairs, Marissa took Alex's hand and smiled up at the blonde who was behind her. Alex couldn't help, but smile back as they continued their walk outside.

"I'm going to miss you," Marissa whined when they were in the driveway at their cars.

"I'm going to miss you too," Alex replied, "But I'll come see you this week or something. Maybe surprise you with lunch?"

The giddiness was evident on Marissa's face, "Sounds great." She kissed Alex.

"Mhm," Alex nodded, "So I'll see you…"

"This week," Marissa stated, leaving no room for discussion, "And I'm coming to your place this weekend."

Alex rested her forehead on Marissa's, "Okay. Call me tonight?"

"When I get out of school," Marissa corrected the blonde.

"Good."

"I don't need to go to school."

"Yes you do."

Marissa groaned. She kissed her girlfriend again, "I don't want you to leave."

Alex lightly traced the heart necklace Marissa was wearing, "I'm just a half hour away and you can call whenever you want."

"Fine," Marissa sighed, holding onto the material of the shirt she let Alex's borrow, at the blonde's shoulders.

"You need to go," Alex pulled Marissa's body against hers and momentarily reveled in the fact that their bodies fit together perfectly, in a way that felt more right than anything she'd ever felt.

"Fine," Marissa sighed again.

Alex softly kissed Marissa, "I'll see you sometime this week."

Marissa nodded kissed Alex again. "I love you."

"I love you too," the blonde echoed.

They kissed one last time before parting ways.

Alex checked her phone again as she sat on the couch after work. Marissa never called. Her battery was charged, she had a good signal, and her phone hadn't left her side since she left Newport. She was starting to think the whole thing wasn't going to work after all.

"Alex," Jodie said from the couch next to Serena, "Stop spazzing. She probably just had homework or something."

Alex nodded not completely believing Jodie, but wanting to.

A knock on the door, brought all the women's attention away from the movie they were watching. Jodie and Serena looked at Alex expectantly, because they were tangled up in each other and didn't want to move.

The blonde grabbed her phone and trudged to the door. Figuring it was the pizza they ordered earlier, Alex quickly flipped back the locks and opened the door. Her eyes widened when she saw who it was.

"Were you expecting someone else?" Marissa asked with an amused smile.

"Well, yeah," A huge smile took residence on Alex's face, "What are you doing here?"

"You borrowed my shirt," Marissa deadpanned, "I came to get it back." She rested her hands on Alex's hips and kissed her.

"But I'm still wearing it," Alex replied glancing down at the green shirt she was still wearing.

Marissa grinned wickedly, "Well we'll just have to find a way to get that off of you."

"I'm sure you can think of something," Alex added before bringing her lips back to Marissa's.


End file.
